Holding my breath

That just feels like the subject line for today.  Holding my breath.  Been having a really great time since the last update, just enjoying what was going on, but afraid i may have fouled it up last night/this morning.  we’ll see if that’s the case.  i should have just left well enough alone.  now i’ve caused some sort of…  complication?  i don’t know.  trying not to let my mind dwell on it before i have the facts, but it’s hard.  haven’t taken any ativan in a while, and i’ve only got two left on me (new appt in about 9 days), but i think tonight i might need one.  

gonna go try and chill with some need for speed…  (yeah, that’s it, drive 250mph to relax…)…

wish me luck, whether i fucked it up or not.

nite