catching up…

 …so catching up… been close to a month since i last wrote…

umm, save the dates went out last week, had originally gotten them with a bad grammar error on the back, so we had to re-print them, bah.  otherwise, they look good.  

my birthday was the week before that, it went pretty good.  a lot of people came out, but my aunt (a week later) has yet to acknowledge that it was my birthday in any way.  no text, no call, no email, nothing.  for normal people, no big deal, but my family is tiny.  my ‘entire’ family is me, my mom, my grandma, grandpa, aunt, and two cousins.  that’s it.  so for her to completely forget it makes me unhappy, feeling pretty un-loved at this point…

back on daily meds, up to 10mg of lexapro again.  thinking i might have to stick on this dosage until after the wedding, there’s just too much little stress here and there.  started reading this book again, which helped me back in the day.  bought it on my phone/tablet situation, as an e-book, so i just grab little bits of it here and there.

one of carolyn’s cousins got engaged, and because of history with the family (super super religious type, first kiss at the altar, married young, etc), it looks like they’ll probably be getting married sooner rather than later.  we’re pretty nervous that they’re going to do something dumb and steal our wedding thunder, whether that’s taking up the aunt’s time that they would have devoted to helpign carolyn with hers, picking a date near ours and compromising some possible folks who can’t travel twice that quickly, or just generally taking the ‘oomph’ out of our plans.  hoping they just decide to have a longer engagement and leave our june alone.  

i’m not sure if i have anything else to write about, to be honest, other than the usual day-to-day up and down of anxiety.  trying to do my best to deal with the side effects, had forgotten how much stress those alone can put on day-to-day life.  anyone who’s been on an SSRI knows what i’m talking about.

my ambien is starting to kick in, so i’m gonna call it a night. but woohoo, we’re officially closer to the wedding than the engagement.  

nite