10/26/2010

 no ‘in detail’ tonight… mostly because i ate like shit today and feel ashamed of it, lol.  tomorrow maybe.

spent most of my day talking friends through relationships.  then, at the end of the day, when i got home and it was quiet, it just reminded me i’m not in one.  not really even close to in one.  and that’s frustrating.

i see people around me who are at varying levels of relationship, some meaningful, some not.  some solid ,some unsteady. some drama-filled, some quiet.  and i don’t get any of that.  nobody i’ve met so far thinks i’m worth fighting for.  i spent a lot of the day convincing people to fight for it, and generally, they are.  why isn’t there anyone there convincing the people who’ve left me to fight for it?

grr.  this is the first time in a few weeks where i’ve been down about the jeannie stuff for any extended period of time, and it’s a bit frustrating. 

everyone just wants to feel loved, right?

in other news:

went to the dentist today, hadn’t been in REDACTED years…  way too long.  have four small cavities that’ll be filled over the next two weeks.  and 3 wisdom teeth that’ll have to come out soon, probably late next month.  has me a bit freaked out.  i’ve never had any type of surgery, never been under general anesthesia, never even gotten any stitches.  gah.

my teeth hurt from the cleaning, but i can actually…ya know…. feel what they feel like underneath all the gunk.  freaky.

my sweet new sexy coat came today, but it’s too big, so i returned it and ordered a size smaller.

that’s about all i have.  

nite.