What A Wonderful Anniversary…

It’s my anniversary today…and my husband called me a “piece a sh** liberal”, right before he shooed (don’t think I spelled that right) me away telling me to “go smoke pot or something.”

So right after I sent the kids today and ordered my husband and I a couple of shakes as a wedding anniversary gift for us both…my husband starts sending me pictures and articles of different white people who were murdered by black people.

If anyone must know, I believe Ahmaud Arbery was murdered in a racially motivated attack.  Regardless what you believe, that’s my stance on it…and I don’t  know why it got brought up today.

Well I didn’t want to talk about it…and of course I think all crime is terrible.  I was trying to keep it to myself and my husband kept going on and on about it.  Finally, I just said, “I think we wouldn’t have these issues if we dealt with it before.”

Then he just went on to say, scornfully, how he believed the whole Ahmaud Arbery situation was BS and exaggerated.  I told him that I strongly disagreed ….and because my opinion was different than his, all hell broke loose!

He started yelling at me about how gullible I was being.  And he started listing all these people who were on his side of the issue…which is great and everything.  But I told him that I did my own research and like to come to my own conclusions.

He continued to yell and accused me of being friends with a bunch of liberals (which I don’t know what he’s talking about because I don’t have any close friends that would influence me in that way)…but I told him “no” that I was looking everything up myself.

He then said, “whatever you piece of sh** liberal, go smoke your weed or whatever!!” (Note: Just FYI, I smoked weed for a short time last year because I was trying to get control of the panic attacks I was having…and I did it because I wasn’t allowed to see a counselor, so I snuck away to smoke weed to help control it.)

Anyway, I just said, “Ok, whatever..” and I went to check to see if the kids were in bed.  Afterwards, I just went into the bedroom for a little bit…just to get away.

A little while later, my husband said he was sorry and that he just had a rough day at work.  I said I forgave him…but I lied.

I wish I could believe him when he apologizes.  I’m not going to lie, I cried tonight.  I cried because the fact that he called me a “piece of sh**” …and he has called others that….

…well, I believe he meant what he said.  Even if he realized it was wrong, I don’t know if I can forget the comment.

I just feel kinda numb.  Cold and numb is how I feel.

I’ll have to talk to my counselor about this next week.