The kindness of God & mankind…

The kindness of man and God…

Hey you guys. I woke up so depressed. I was depressed most of the day. Once again, I walked through the hall ways, looking down at the floor (because I don’t want people to see me upset)….everything seemed to be like everyday that I’ve been like this. Today just felt like that I was once again all alone…
Well, I was in the middle of a test in Science when the principal called me from his office. I didn’t really know what to expect. So I went down there (once again, looking at the ground on my way there because I was really depressed). I got to his office and there next to my school’s principal was my youth pastor! I was really suprised to see him there. He asked how I was doing…but I was scared to look at him much less say anything. But I shook my head and I said “Fine…” He looked at me and he said “You don’t look like you are doing too good”. And I was about to cry because he noticed. So Mr. Corrdell (my principal), let me and my pastor talk in his office and Chris (that’s his name) asked me what was going on. i told him that I was having a hard time at school and at home because I felt really alone. We started talking and he asked me if I went to church up in Delaware. And I said no because of my step father….then I told him that I had been sexually abused by him and how controlive he was. That he wouldn’t let us do anything or go anywhere most of the time. I told him since I moved down here, I wanted to start my life over and live happier with God and my family. But then I added that I am starting to lose my faith now…
He started talking to me about how even Pastors, Preachers, and other huge believers in Christ have been through this in some point in their lives. Even in Psalms, David had at a point felt like that God was turning away from him (in the middle of psalms…) and he was saying that though he went through a rough time…he had hope with inside of him. He kept talking and then he started to cry (which suprised me) and he said not to give up on God and to keep on going. I started to cry too. Then he grabbed my hand and he prayed with me…We kept talking about some of the things I was going through…
…Well, he is going to get the church to help our family out…which was really sweet of him to do. What was amazing was that I had prayed the night before that God would help me and to help me take the pain away. I think God did through my pastor…I was NOT expecting that he would be there. I felt like that there is some level of hope left and that I needed to keep going…
…I’m still really depressed. But I know that i can rely on God more than I felt that I could.
Well, I’m gonna go. I love you all. God is so wonderful…just to let you all know. Well, take care and may God be with you always.
In Loving Spirits,
~Amber~
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