The After Affects of “Court”

Hey guys! How is everyone? Well, today was a bit okay…it kinda started out badly, though. My 7 year old sister, before we had to go to church, was throwing a big tantrum because she didn’t have anything to wear…and I at first canceled our ride to church BECAUSE of her little fit…but that made her tantrums get out of control. She started throwing things, hitting me, screaming bloody murder…and here I am trying soooooooo hard to calm her down! Boy…the pleasures of being around little kids, huh? Lol.

Well, we went to church anyway because she had to get her way. Not that I don’t like church…I mean I honestly do…but my sister is a spoiled rotten child…I love her to death and I would do anything for her…but she gets her way too much because of these fits she throws and it drives me CRAZY! Especially when I’m the one baby sitting the child. *Sigh* glad it’s all over with, though.

Church was good…I was alittle upset today…kinda depressed. I’ve been feeling very weird since court. I’ve been feeling just so awkward…seeing Scott was part of it. I don’t want him to get to me…but part of me has. I kinda feel responsible for all this mess that is going on…like him being in prison. Right now, I feel that it was my fault that he is in there…if you get what I mean. I’m trying to tell myself it’s not…but it doesn’t help me too much. I REALLY need you all to really pray for me. I’ve been feeling so weird lately.

Well, I guess I’m gonna go. I love you all bunches and bunches. Take care all and may the good Lord bless you and keep you all forever. God bless.

In Loving Spirits,
~Amber~

Layout/graphic:Mels Designs
.X.Feeling.X.

guilty…odd

.X.TickTock.X.

8:00 PM

.X.Mood.X.

kinda depressed…kinda blah

.X.Food.X.

nothing

.X.Wearing.X.

a baby blue blouse and jeans…

.X.Wishing.X.

That the Lord can feel his presense with in me again…and make me alittle happier, now that court is over…

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I am adding you to my favs…come back anytime… P.S. This way you can see my personal entries! Feel free to read back through those should you find the time.

January 30, 2005

Aww, hun… you know, I have an older brother, he’s almost 25, but it’s only me and him. Sometimes I wish I had a younger sister (or older sister… or just a sister in general) but it didn’t work out that way. My mom had a girl in 1985, two years before me, but she died about a week after birth 🙁 I don’t know about the “court” thing, but I hope happiness comes your way soon! †Vale,

January 30, 2005

it isn’t your fault in anyway. he’s the one who made the mistake if you could call it that. he’s just facing the consequences that frankly, he deserves.

obviously i havent been through this, but i think its a natural stage for you to go to.it probably isnt something in your personality, to bear malice for years and years, especially with you being such a strong christian.however, i think its a matter of time and adjusting and getting used to it all.you have had to live with this for so long and now the circumstances have changed, so its bound >>

<<to make you feel a little uneasy or something.plus youve had to dredge up all your memories of the past and that couldnt be easy. well i hope i havent spoken out of turn there because its not something ive been through x x x

***correction*** that note left out half the stuff i wrote…it was meant to say “youre bound to have a period of adjustment where you feel strange or uneasy or whatever, after dredging up the past and seeing scott etc. x x x x

Could you re-add me to your favs? Thanks bundles and God Bless.

hey babe dont worry bout nuffin ok ur gods child the gates of hell can not prevail against you. n all ur sister needs is a good betten lol….well i hope i can get u up here some time n get u to my new church k gb ly bye

February 10, 2005

Amen! This is just another step in helping you to be stronger, hun. You got through seeing Scott again, and you didn’t completely break down. It’s not your fault babe. God gave everybody there own free will, and Scott chose to hurt you all on his own. YOU are the victim, and you have nothing to feel guilty for. He’s in a place right now where he can’t hurt innocent people anymore. A place that HE

February 10, 2005

got himself in not you. I love you soo very much. Chin up and smile, Jesus loves you, and both he and I don’t wanna see you waste another precious moment of your life worrying that you somehow caused this. God bless, you’re in my prayers.