Once…

Once, I told myself how I wanted you to be mine.

A year later, we were together and it was bliss.

But then you were gone due to complications with my family.

 

I moved away, and we kept in touch.

Once, I said, “I still want him to be mine…we can make it work, even if I am far off.

A couple months later, we were on and off again in a relationship. Once again, it was bliss.

Finally, we broke it off again…but this time for good.  College was coming and we would have no time for one another.

 

Seasons came and went.  Years went by.  I still loved you…but we weren’t meant to be.

 

Once, I said to myself, “Prepare yourself.  He will get in a relationship with someone else.”

A year later, you were.  My hypocritical heart shattered.

Once, I said to myself, “Prepare yourself…he’ll ask her to marry him.”

A couple years later, you posted a video of your engagement.  My stomach was in knots.

Once, I told myself, “When he gets married…it will be the first time you get drunk.”

On your wedding day, I was at a bar trying to numb the pain in my heart.

Once, I told myself, “His children will be beautiful.

Now, you have children of your own and they are indeed beautiful.

 

 

Once…I told myself that I will die inside the day you pass away.

That day hasn’t come yet…I hope I’m dead when it happens.