I was played like a fool!!!!

 
 
~~!!Played a fool!!~~     
 Hey all…How are you guys? Well, I’m alittle ticjed off. Reason? Because I was in the library today, researching for a paper I am doing for English on sexual abuse (my choice) and I read something that caught my attention. In this ONE book I read, it was saying some of the things that the sex offender does to the childern when the child is sexually being abused. It said that the child often feels that it’s THEIR fault because they feel seductive (which I felt)…so that’s one. The other thing is that the sex offender (if male) makes the mother feel like he no longer loves her, that she is delusional, she is worthless…ect. And my mom has felt ALL those syptoms. So that also got me mad….He played all of us! He played me!!!
…Basically, it was about all the things that I was feeling when I was being hurt and it made me relize more that it was NOT my fault and that my step father tried to turn us against one another. He would do something “special” for me like go to the mall and let me get what I wanted JUST so he could have his way with me later! I was really mad…
What ticks me off more is that society is willing to protect the sex offender MORE than they are willing to protect the victims. That ABSOLUTELY ticks me off….
…I don’t know what the heck I was thinking when I said that I didn’t know what I wanted. It’s right here in front of me! I am gonna do something that migtht help change how children live their lives. I want  to save those kids that are going through something that they feel they can’t get out of…but can, rather they realize it or not. And I want to MARK those that gave their choice to hurt childern in any way. I don’t want people to go through with what I have. And the sad thing is, some of these childern are being abused RIGHT NOW as I am typing this entry. That also sets me off!!!!
Okay, I guess I’ll go now. I can go on forever with how angry I am, but that’ll take too long. Well, I love you guys. You all take care and God be with you.
In Loving Spirits,
~Amber~ 

 
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