Love always brings you home…

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I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything, as usual. Life has been pretty much the same these days. We have settled into our home well and are working on a few (read:AHHH!) home improvement projects. I’m still working and going to school. I registered for my very last semester , Fall 2013, this morning. I will officially be a college graduate in December 2013 if I keep working hard. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet. It’s a tossup between working in the field for another year or so while Miss Maddy is still at home with me or continue on right away for my Bachelors….decisions, decisions.  I feel like school has caused me to miss out on a lot with my kids but I know it’s for the best. 

Speaking of those blonde haired beauties… they are doing so well. Gabe has been working hard in 4k this whole school year and has learned so much. He’s really turning into his own person.  I love how he learns something new every day and comes running inside to tell me all about it. I think we’ll be putting him in summer school because he drives me nuts wanting to go to school while at home. He’s getting very excited for Kindergarten. Can you believe it? I can’t. He’s grown up so fast. Those endless times of sleepless nights, first time mommy worries, bottles, diapers, etc.. and now he’s FIVE. A very mature five, I may add. He reminds me so much of myself. He lost his front tooth about a month ago when the dentist decided it was time to be removed. I jokingly call him my little toothless monster.

And my sweet baby girl. My sweet Madelyn Grace. What a wonder. She is the funniest little character I’ve ever met in my life. I think God put her in my life at just the right time…He knew I needed to smile almost every second. Her smiles and laughter are so contagious. She’s so goofy and adorable.  Maddy definitely has her daddy’s personality.. always outgoing and up for anything, obnoxious, the life of the party. That tiny 8lb 6 oz baby girl has turned into an almost three year old tornado of joy and smiles. I couldn’t be anymore thankful for her if I tried. She loves to be by her brother and he has taught her so much from school. In only 40 days my baby girl will turn THREE.

This leads to me… in only 39 days, I will be 25. A quarter of a century old.  I feel like life is flying by at such an alarming rate. I still feel 21. I don’t want to be 25 yet. I suppose that’s how it works… when you’re so happy with life and your kids- they grow right before your eyes. Before you know it they are off to college.

I feel like I still have my hidden secrets. Despite how wonderful my life is, I always feel like he is missing. It would be almost 5 years this year. I still have those memories locked away like they were just yesterday. I still think of him often, I still feel like he’s missing. I wonder if we would be friends if it would help fill the void. Do I miss him so much because I will always love him? Or do I miss him simply because I wonder what he’s up to, how his life is, if he’s happy? According to FB, he’s now the daddy to a sweet little girl. I’ve attempted to make contact a few times but it’s never returned. It has to be more than a year since we’ve talked. It’s been 2 years since I’ve seen him and I STILL miss him. I wonder if it’s a wound that will ever completely heal? Or if my heart and soul is truly missing a piece?  I know why God put him in my life; he was just what I needed at just the right time. He taught me so much about myself. Ah, whatever. I don’t know why I always get into this. 

But anyways, we are all doing well. I read my favorite diaries often and am always amazed at how fast your children are growing, too. So I’m here…. Just don’t write as often as I should.  I will leave you with these…

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And that once creepy little kid, otherwise known as JP’s brother, Michael? He joined the AirForce. We went toTexas in February to see him graduate BMT. So proud of all he’s become and all he’s done. 🙂

 

Here’s him saying goodbye for a year to his sweet goddaughter…

Him talking to her right after BMT graduation…

 

And us with him…