[3 Weeks]

I think I’m getting this parenting stuff figured out. Kind of. Not really? It’s feeling a little easier but I think I’m just getting used to it. I’m just accepting the fact that my house may be a tornado of laundry and dishes and dog fur for a while. Accepting that going anywhere will take 3 times as long. Accepting that I may just not get a shower every day and I can’t wear most clothes because they’re not easy to nurse in so I’m pretty much just going to hang out in big t-shirts for a while.

It’s just hard because anytime Adelaide is awake she is eating. She sleeps for 4-6 hours at a time at night so that is GREAT (I’m so tired when she wakes up after 4 hours, I can’t imagine how hard it would be if we were getting up every 1-2), but during the day she takes little cat naps (there’s one longer one in the early afternoon and one longer one in the evening, other than that they are like 5-20 minutes), and if she is awake, she wants to eat. Sometimes I put her in her swing so I can pee, or grab a snack, or switch a load of laundry over, and she’ll go *maybe* 5 minutes without crying.

It gets tiring, and it wears on me, but I think I’m getting more used to. Last week I had a couple of very emotional moments and cried about the fact that I can’t do anything but I’m feeling more accepting of it this week. I’m also trying to at least get a bath in each night so I have SOME "me time". I usually just have to hand her over to Jonathan and have him entertain her for 10 or 15 minutes. Sometimes it works and they listen to music and she stays calm and sometimes she cries and I just have to pretend not to hear it for 5 minutes until I feel relaxed and refreshed enough to start the non-stop nursing again.

The last couple of days she’s also having tummy issues. I think it’s from my antibiotics. Tons of blowout diapers, spitting up way more than normal, and just a general fussiness that she hasn’t had before.

Her personality is really starting to show. Just this week she has started making eye contact with us for real and seems to recognize us now. She likes music but is very particular and will instantly scream if she doesn’t like a song. She’s started "talking" a lot more, making little gurgly cooing noises. She has different cries now and we’re figuring out what each one means.

I’m trying to figure out when I’m going to be able to go back to work. I don’t want to. 🙁

I’m going to end this entry now because I think she is asleep enough that I can stick her in her swing for a few minutes. If I don’t wash diapers asap we are going to run out.

Some photos:

My hair is such a hilarious mess in this photo. I think this was when I was deep into the mastitis.