15w5d- almost 4 months!

I have been so absolutely exhausted the last few days! Last night I passed out on the couch around 7-8 pm, can’t remember exactly…I woke up this morning at 8:30…by 9:30 am I was so tired I went back to sleep until 12:30! And then I STILL felt sleepy all day!

I feel like it’s partly because I’m not getting as much nutrition as I need to. Now that the morning sickness is mostly gone, it’s hard to remember that I need to be eating every couple of hours (before it was easy because I’d get so sick if I didn’t). I’m supposed to be getting 70-100mg of protein a DAY- that feels impossible. I’m really trying, and some days I do it, or at least come close, but some days (like today) I know I didn’t even come close. It makes me feel kind of shaky and out of it, and my brain feels like it’s not quite functioning. I’m trying to just take my vitamins, drink a lot of water, and do the best I can with food. It’s at least getting easier to eat healthy things now that more types of food are sounding good and I’m not having as many aversions.

I got a juicer, and that’s actually helping a lot, because I can throw a ton of fruits and veggies in and get a lot of nutrition in an easy to eat form. I didn’t necessarily have the money to spend on it, but it’s already been worth it, and I know it will be great all through the pregnancy and when I’m nursing to be able to get a lot of nutrition like that.

I can’t believe in two days I’ll be 4 months pregnant.

The only bad part about no morning sickness is I find myself worrying, for no reason…because I don’t FEEL as pregnant, I wake up sometimes thinking "What if I’m not pregnant anymore?". It’s completely irrational, and I’m still having lots of pregnancy symptoms of course, and no bleeding or cramping or anything that would suggest something is wrong…I think the idea of an actual baby coming out of this is just too nuts sometimes, and it’s too hard to believe it will actually happen.

I’ve gone from not knowing if I wanted to know the gender, to wanting to know so bad it’s driving me absolutely insane! I don’t know why it suddenly matters so much to me. I don’t want either gender over the other…I honestly can’t pick one I’d prefer. It’s just that knowing I have to wait until July is killing me. Enough so that I’ve been considering paying for a quick elective ultrasound in the next week or two to find out sooner. It doesn’t help that literally every person I know- coworkers, friends, family, the person who makes my coffee, everyone – asks every time they see me, "Do you know what you’re having yet?". I can’t imagine saying "Nope, not yet", until July. I KNOW it’s only a month away, but that feels like an eternity right now.

I ordered my first diapers today! Now I get to go nuts checking the mail every day until they arrive. I got 5 newborn sized Kissaluvs in gently used condition (based on the description and the photos, they look like they’re in great shape), and then I found a GREAT deal on some brand new small "Perfect Sized" Fuzzibunz- I got 4 for $11.22 each, with free shipping. I couldn’t pass that deal up. The store was having a Memorial Day Weekend sale.

I’ve decided I’m not going to get more than 4-5 of any type of diaper at first. I can read all the reviews out there, but I know that every baby is different and every diaper fits every baby different, so I just have to see what works. I don’t want to make the mistake of ordering 20 of one type of diaper and thinking I’m set, and then find out that they don’t work for us at all.

I’m going to end this here because I’m falling asleep again, but first I’ll make a list of things to talk about soon: Itten, my grandfather, my brother, hiring new people at work.

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