Resolve.

I recieved the suggestion to get pregnant at the end of nursing school so I could give birth after graduation and take some time off before starting a new job. That sounds reasonable….thinking about it….but I dont know. The last semester of nursing school is the hardest and I would be SO pregnant. It would be hard. Then finding a job, i feel like i need to do that right away. It seems weird to graduate and then have this big gap before getting a job. And im hoping to land a job through my experiences in the hospitals during clincials, and by that i mean maybe i would hear about a job then, or meet some people there, and get some kind of an idea about a job, and jump right on it after graduation. Its definitely an option though- to wait until graudating to have the second baby. Im more inclined to do it during school though. The demands of a new job will be tough and i dont think i will have any control over my schedule, and might have to put in a lot of time at the begining to get the job experience i need to land the GOOD job. I wouldnt want to have a newborn at home and try to do that.

It IS starting to seem unlikely that Paul will go for the whole MARCH idea of getting pregnant. that seems so soon. But really its 3 months away, and we’ve got the "bug" right now, seems likely we’d jump on it?! i dont know. he doesnt seem like he wants to get pregnant this year at all. Not until next year. I dont want the gap to be over 3 years between the kids though. Maybe get pregnant in March, april, may, even june….then plan on taking a semester off. Just one. My mom seems to think i wont need to take any semesters off. but i would if i was due in the middle of the semester. I dont know. I guess it will work itself out and we’ll have to wait and see.

Im still crossing my fingers for march 😉

And I do like the name Isla Paige for our girl. If its a boy, I dont know, but there are a few names in mind.

I sure would love another girl though! 😉 😉

Its getting better between me and Linda, having her staying here and all……it sucked so bad at first but its still getting better. She is leaving on Satuday and im so ready to go back to normal. Get back into our routine. I start classes Monday, my parents get here tuesday….its been a busy few weeks and its going to continue for a while. Im excited about the new semester but not quite ready yet!

I feel rediculously and horribly fat. The holidays did me in! Starting at thanksgiving!!!! When i went home to see my family for thanksgiving, i looked amazeballs. but then i ate pumpkin cheesecake for breakfast (etc etc etc) and its been downhill ever since. Of course I have new years resolutions. Cue the cliches!

I need to cut back on drinking. I am going to commit myself to one time a week, only on the weekend. Friday or Saturday only. During the week i need to be focussed on school and Lucy and getting some exersize in. Its hard to be active when im driving 4 days a week 2 hours a day in the car, and sitting in class in between, on my ass. Ive been walking lucy in the stroller like i always used to, and walking on the beach, and i feel better already. but I need to comitt to more exersize during the semester. If I do that, and stop drinking my calories, and start eating really healthy again, I will be fine in no time. Im trying not to stress about it. Cutting back drinking alone will save me. I swear thats the main reason ive gained weight. If its red wine, its a whole bottle to myself. If its beer, its about 7 beers. If its liquor, its 1/4 of a fifth. This is every night and these are my options. its never any less and sometimes its even more. It adds soooo many calories to my day. My ass is fucking huge.

Paul gave me a lecture about it, but we talked it through. He just doesnt want to end up like my parents, which i think would be fine, but he sees how much they drink and thinks its bad. OK whatever. I wont be like them. But i still like to have a drink once and a while.

MSG = chinese food = TERRIBLE. Good god! we woke up this morning feeling like complete shit- which happens every single time we eat chinese. We are eating tofu and mixed veg, not even some weird chicken dish! and yeah- we still feel awful! I know its going to happen before i even eat it, and i never want to eat it, but paul keeps bringing it home. We vowed to never eat that shit again.

Lucy is talking up a storm and such a little person. She is NOT a baby anymore, thats for sure! I just love her. She had a great christmas. 🙂