lost.

you aren’t overreacting. This is your one life, no regrets k? You have one life to live in happiness, find your happiness, no matter how scary it might be to chase. If there’s no happiness there, then you shouldn’t be there.

I would never tell you to leave or stay, but I don’t think if you cannot remember the happy times that is troubling because either a) there weren’t that many to begin with or b) you are so resentful and hurt now you are coloring everything in a bad light. I think leaving, temporarily, might be your best and only chance. It sounds like you are both too close to the situation right now.

For all my opinion is worth, I think you should part ways. It’s an unhealthy environment for everyone involved, most especially your child. Best of luck to you and take care.

I know I have a tendency to disappear from OD from long stretches of time, but I wanted you to know that I still come and read your diary and apologize for the lateness of this note in return to yours. You really seem like such an intelligent, fun, wonderful person – and while nobody’s perfect, no one deserves to be treated this way and it isn’t your fault.

I know you have previously said that you would never consider divorce, but I can see that your stance is starting to change. I hate to say it, but I’m glad. I think it’s something to definitely consider, not to sound harsh or dismal, because only you can decide what you want, what is right for you. But it is healthy to think about the options that you do have.

I agree with the person who left a note saying it was an unhealthy environment for your child. It’s natural to think staying together is what’s best for the child..but even if you have these fights behind closed door…it breeds a negative environment and clings in the air. A child can sense that. Maybe he can change. Maybe things can get better. But what if they don’t?

Or what if they do get better for only a short period of time, just to appease you..which seems to happen from time to time? That feeling from all those times of frustration will always be there…..is it something you’re willing to manage forever, something that you think you can keep at bay and never cause you to fall back again?

You argue with yourself that you are overreacting, that you are too emotional. That you need to toss those young girlish dreams of true romance out the door. Why can’t you have that? Love is out there for everyone, in many forms. It doesn’t have to be roses and a horse and carriage. It can be someone who just adores endlessly and lives to make you happy.

Someone’s who’s heart you make race with anticipation just when you come home for the day. To answer your question to me, I am not married, nor do I have kids. I am hoping to get the question popped soon though. My boyfriend and I have been together almost nine years and I can say that I am happy and that I know he loves me and his goal is to protect and make me happy.

Is the relationship perfect and do I know if we’ll be together forever? No. But it’s not messy and we always try to meet one another halfway. I still jump up to see him and hug him when he gets home…that welcome home embrace is the best part of my day. My heart sinks a bit if I get home and his car isn’t there. And I love that yearning.

It’s okay to yearn and want things for yourself. Things that sometimes others don’t want. You are entitled to be the person you want to be and not feel like you have to stifle it until the end of time. Sorry to ramble, but I hope you know that you can do this and you will be okay. Do whatever you need to do to take your happiness by the reins and own it. 🙂

I was married before I met my best friend & married him. My ex made me question myself frequently & he knew how to bring my crazy side out. He, too, was addicted to porn. He would rather pleasure himself instead of coming to me. He cheated SO many times I lost count. I was heartbroken, angry, bitter, & I loathed myself. I thought it was my fault. My attitude changed completly..I was Miserable!!

I agree with the previous noter..I can’t tell u want to do but I can tell u what I did. I walked away. It hurt something awful but in the end I was so much better off! I ended up with a man that continues to show me what love is everyday! U deserve to be happy. Ur daughter deserves the best of u & the situation with u & the hubs is taking it’s toll. Ur hubs doesn’t seem 2 want 2 fix his problem.

It becomes too easy for others to suggest breaking things off and going your seperate ways. You really seem to want to be in this thing, so stay. Fight it out. It’s tough, but it is worth it to figure each other out and appreciate each other better. Not remembering the good times doesn’t mean there weren’t any, although it feels that way at times. We just get into the war and forget about home.

You see the porn addiction as a rejection of you, but it is a rejection of himself. It’s the male equivalent of gorging on cookie dough. It’s disgusting and full of self loathing, but he looks out of shame. He needs your acceptance. As horrid as him screaming is, it’s a strong indicator he feels you aren’t listening. I’m not saying accept it, but find out why. Shift your conversation.

Children aren’t better off with divorced parents. It is a myth dispelled by statistics. You are their world. They need stability. And while abuse (verbal or physical or otherwise) is not stability, seeing their parents fight through and come out the other side will work wonders on children for shaping their outlook. They need to see the caring, though. Show them you are working toward each other.

I apologize for lecturing. I just see such flippant waste in marriages. It shouldn’t be such a light decision. (Not suggesting you are taking it lightly, but the comments seem to encourage that.) I do think a serious consideration of seperation is necessary. You have no trust in his behavior without you, which is a control issue. A deep breath will do you both good.

I live with a partner who has P.T.S.D due, interestingly my situation is the exact opposite of yours but I know exactly how it feels. Often I have my partner scream at me for just walking through the door & saying “hi”, sometimes it happens for no reason at all, but i’ve been on the end of so much screaming & abuse that I’m just worn out. I push on and try to make it work but it is a struggle.

I live with a partner who has P.T.S.D due, interestingly my situation is the exact opposite of yours but I know exactly how it feels. Often I have my partner scream at me for just walking through the door & saying “hi”, sometimes it happens for no reason at all, but i’ve been on the end of so much screaming & abuse that I’m just worn out. I push on and try to make it work but it is a struggle.