Happy 1st Birthday!

First of all, today is my baby girl’s 1st birthday. I know, right!?? Crazy. My mom asked me "does it feel like its been a year?". Well, when I think about life-before-Lucy it seems like at LEAST a year if not more! But when I think about the day she was born, then her as a little baby, then just a couple months ago…and now today…..its crazy the way time is measured with a baby. Because when you have a 3 month old, you are FAR FROM the stage that a 6 month old is in. As in, when your baby is 3 months you arent even thinking about solids or sitting up or anything like that. That 3 month old baby is still considered newborn (0-3 months). But the time between 3 months and 6 months, in an adults life, is a blink of an eye! 3 months is such a short time! But in that short amount of time your baby changes from a newborn to a baby that is sitting up on their own and eating solid foods from a spoon! WHAT!? Thats why time flies with a baby. Because things happen so fast but in baby milestones and baby stages it seems like its very spaced apart. If you have a 6 month old just starting solids, and your friend has a 9 month old who is crawling everywhere and eating finger foods, you dont even feel like you can relate to your friend because they are in a completely different stage than you, and that stage feels like its so far in the future. But the thing is……ITS NOT!!!! Its not that far off at all! In just a few short months that will go by in the blink of an eye, your baby will be crawling all over the place too! But its too hard to believe!

And then one day you wake up and its your baby’s first birthday. I still remember every single detail of the day I had Lucy, and I’m sure I always will, but it seems like yesterday. And now she is more like a child than a baby. She is so beautiful and FUNNY and has her own personality.

Second of all, I started the sleep lady shuffle today. I sort of started with her nap. Normally I would put her in the stroller for a nap. But I didnt force her to fall asleep in the stroller (we still went on a long walk but made many stops) because motion sleep isnt near the quality of sleeping in their bed. I wanted her to sleep at home, not in the stroller on the go like usual. I know I should be doing the program for naps but i am going to start slowly with that. Instead of doing the shuffle for naps, first Im going to get her to nap at home in bed instead of in the stroller or in the car, thats step one. Even if I still nurse to sleep for a couple days. I didnt nurse to sleep today but I did rock her eventually because she was crying even though I was laying with her.

So tonight for bedtime, I did my usual routine but altered it some in order to put her to bed drowsy but awake. She cried for 45 minutes with me right there in the chair next to her, intermittently soothing her. After the first 20 I was freaking out because she wouldnt even lay down, she just sat there and wanted me to hold her. I did hold her twice, but always put her back down before she fell asleep. Eventually she did lay down and fell asleep right after she laid down. I couldnt believe it. But 45 minutes is damn painful and I am praying that tomorrow night is at least 15 minutes less before she sleeps, and then the 3rd night even less. I feel so much better though soothing her and helping her sleep, even though i ignore her off and on…she can still see me the whole time and I am saying "shhh". As long as I am consitent this will work. THE HARD PART IS BEING CONSISTENT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!!! And also for when she wakes up in the middle of the night!

The hardest wake up will be when, like last night i think it was, that she slept all night but woke up at like 5:20am. Thats too early to get up for the morning but also late enough that its really hard to go back to sleep. Even if its 5:20am I still need to soothe her gently and then resume my position in the chair next to her bed and have her put herself back to sleep. She is used to getting nursed at that time. I will be sitting there worrying that she is hungry and wants to nurse. But my doctor has told me for months that she can go 12 hours at night without a feeding. Ive continued to nurse her at least once a night, usually 2 or 3 times, from 6 months old until now. So I will have to reassure myself that even at 5am, she will not starve if I dont nurse her, and she is only wanting it out of comfort. I have a bottle of water there so I can give her a sip if she is really awake. I guess?? Ugh I sure hope she sleep until at least 6! Babies this age can get up at about 6:30 and thats pretty normal. She should be in bed sleeping by 7 or 7:30 so that would be 11 hours of sleep, which is perfect for her.

This entry is probably the most boring entry in the history of OD. Oh well. This is whats on my mind now. And I have to set aside about 2 weeks just to dedicate our entire day around her sleep schedule. But its not like we have a poor schedule. Our schedule is actually perfectly in line with what they say a 12 month old schedule should look like. Its just that I have given her sleep crutches that she relies on to get to sleep and back to sleep, and Im taking those crutches away now, so she has to adjust. And so do I…..on the nights when she sleeps like 6 hours straight I wake up a ton and cant sleep. Go figure.

I really feel confident and hopeful that things will start to get a lot easier in our house very soon.