distracted

 I should be studying but im distracted. Worked for about an hour and now here I am. Oh well!

The semester is going really well. I got a 98 on my first A&P exam which sets me up for a sucessful semester. It gave me the confidence I needed to really tackle this class. I’m sure I will get an A. They make it sound like its such a tough class and many people drop out early on because they know they wont make it. I never thought that would be me anyway, but I was nervous. But its nothing really. You have to apply yourself, study on your own, cant expect to be spoonfed the material by the professor– but if you do, then you’re fine. I’m fine. Its not that hard, just time consuming.

Math is going well too. I suck at math but I’m actually doing better than many other people in my class which gives me confidence and then propells me to keep doing well. If I was doing poorly at this point, I would continue to do poorly because I’d be all bummed out. But I’m suprising myself and actaully getting better at math. Who woulda thought?

Paul and I fight about money all the time still. Sucks. I think its normal though and we just have to power through this and come out on the other side better for it. I believe thats what will happen. Its not always about money but sometimes we just hate each other. The fights are starting to phase both of us less and less. I got up halfway through a movie last night and locked myself in the bedroom and slept there all night. No tears, no worries, just whatever. I couldnt be around him anymore because he kept telling me to shut the fuck up. I was talking about a character in the movie and how he was a real man for not telling his wifes dad that she was having an affair. It had nothing to do with US- we dont have affairs…soo……but paul kept telling me to shut the fuck up, im such a bitch, blah blah blah and it was so disrespectful and out of nowhere so i left. I hate that things like this keep happening but right now I have nothing to say about it. We are actually having plenty of sex and things are really good when they are GOOD, so the fighting is just par for the course when we are this broke and borrowing money and worried about it. We are just going further into debt and hoping that this school investment is going to pay off. Of couse there are no garauntees.

But otherwise things are happy. Lucy is amaze-balls, every single other thing is working out great. We really shouldnt complain. I don’t have anything to complain about and maybe thats why we fight more. He is way more concerned about the money than I am. I know this is temporary because I am in school right now and not working. I know its not forever. But he is very emotionally immature. He never sees the big picture, always throwing tantrums about the moment and never seeing beyond his little momentary problem. Then when its over, he doesnt even remember or ackowledge the fact that he threw a tantrum like a 12 year old. He is so damn adolescent and i hate his parents more and more lately for this. They really sucked at raising him. I dont care how that sounds, its the damn truth.

Best buds, Lucy and Kimchee.

My wee little goose is 14 months old. She is walking and babling and cute as a fricken button. That is really all that matters and the rest is just boring details! She is doing so well at the island school. She seems to love it there. Her little personality just cracks us up. SHe is so pleasant too. She is SO pleasant that I actually believe she will stay this way through the toddler years. Some kids do it, and I think she can 🙂

Back to school….

<3 E