Dear Lisa

Now I’m freaking out that I’m remembering you "real" name wrong! Ahhhh!!! I think its Lisa (MakeMeUp)!!!! Sorry 🙁

So I dont get on here as much as I’d like but I read through your last entries and I am dying to comment but there is just not enough space in those little boxes. I have my own opinions about taking care of baby, and they are based on my own unqiue experience and my own unique baby. I realize that being a mom (of a newborn or otherwise!) is not one size fits all. So please dont be offended by anything I say and you dont even have to take me seriously. This is just my "advice", which means, listen and ignore if you want!

I think your babe is about 6 weeks old now? You are right, IT WILL GET EASIER. but not for a while, so dont expect much! I think I was in a fog for 3 months straight. I’ve written that I think and its pretty accurate. I hope Hampton is feeling better and colic sounds like a load of crap in this case but it could be, so do your own research. read "the happiest baby on the block" if you havent already. The you tube videos are mostly about swaddling and everything but the book gives you a great perspective on why your baby is crying and how to soothe him, and what to expect. My solution was always BABY ON THE BOOB. I know you are having problems with the latch. KEEP TRYING. Get the lactation consultant from your hospital to come to your house. Or go find one. Its usually all free. Look up the LLL in your city. Luckily for you, you live in a bigger size city so i know there are resources. Putting that baby right on your boob will solve more problems than you would think. I cant even list them all. Its like the natural cure for all that ails him. Plus, the bottles might be making him gassy. Have you looked at your diet? I know people are quick to think that you cant eat this-or-that when nursing; typically you can eat anything you want, but maybe your baby is sensitive to diary. Thats usually the first culprit. Its normal for him to cry every 2-3 hours, and its normal for him to need to eat every time. WORK ON THAT LATCH. Don’t give up. Wear your baby around the house so he can stay close to you, where he likes to be (love that!) but you can still get stuff done. Oh, the weight thing. The more you nurse the more weight you will lose. RYN…..no I didnt lose all my baby weight in 14 days but I didnt gain much during pregnancy. By the time Lucy was 6 months, I was struggling to keep up. Nursing and caring for a little one takes a lot out of you. You are ending your entries with "restrict…etc"…..that to me signals that you are depressed. Restricting wont help. It will make things worse, espeically if you are pumping and wearing yourself out, trying to start working out agagin, caring for  a baby, and running on ZERO sleep. Trust me i know. Please dont do that to yourself. Your son needs you. It sounds like you have a great thing going with your man. CONGRATS ON THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is such good news. But its hard, no matter what. Everything is new right now. You have a whole new life to try and adjust to. Its never going to go back to the way it was before, go back to "normal". You have to find your new normal. ANd its great you guys are finding a routine. but that baby grows so fast and the routine has to constantly adapt to changes with the baby. So its not easy in the begining. I really struggled. My marriage almost fell apart. It took months for us to click as a partnership/team. But as that baby gets older, and he will fast of course, things get easier. He sleeps longer at night. he nurses less and eats solids. then stops nursing all together and eats only solids. then eventually doesnt even need diapers! WOW!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha. 

Being a mom is the hardest job in the whole world. What you are going through is so tough. My heart flew out of my chest reading your last few entries. I know what you are going through, in some ways, because its so different for every woman but in many undeniable ways its the same. So fucking scary. Sorry, but its true. The love you have for your son will never change, only grow larger (if thats possible!) so even though you may not get it perfect every time, you know in your heart you love him and will never stop being his number one advocate. 

On that note, GET A NEW PEDIATRICIAN! that guy sounds awful. Find someone who has kids of their own. They will just KNOW what to say. They know your fears, and where you are coming from. 

Thinking of you…….please take care of yourself. You are going to be fabulous at this. Keep it together, even though its hard right now. If you stay strong now, you will look back when your baby is 1 and think WOW- i cant believe i got through that, and look how fucking awesome i did! I kicked ass!!!!!! ANd so did my son!!! Its worth it! This too shall pass……with babies i’ve learned that every issue that seems so monumental at the time ends up being one of many phases and came and went and werent that big of a deal in the scheme of things. 

Please let me know if you want to talk about anything else. I want to be here for you during this because I know I really struggled a lot and completely lost it many times. I wanted to jump off a bridge, get a divorce, become and alcoholic (pretty much did for a couple months there!) and run away MANY MANY TIMES. Please let me listen if you need to vent!