Busy

im exhausted. as i type this, my freaking bengal cat is howling- his typical tantrum when i put the baby down for a nap. I usually get on the computer while she sleeps, and the cat ALWAYS sits in front of the door and howls. its loud and annoying. peircing. its enough to drive me over the edge. i actually lock him in the bedroom and do the "cry it out" method, haha! but it doesnt work. he could howl for hours. he wants to go in the hallway, but he just cries out there too and bothers the neighbors.

i didnt sleep at all last night. i woke up at 1:30am thinking it was time to get up for the day, but really i had been sleeping less and 1 hour. then i get up to go to the bathroom and there is a fucking SCORPION crawling across the wood floor. thats right. WTF?! of course i couldnt get to sleep after that. i didnt even catch it or anything, just let it be. I was way too skeeved out. then every time my cats paw touched my toe i thought it was the scorpion stingining me. god i hate this building. ive never seen a live scorpion, or even a dead one, in our place. Ive seen dead ones other places, but nowhere near our building.

Ive had exam after exam lately, followed by this busy weekend, which preceeds next week (craZy!) and another busy weekend. Today and tomorrow we have a photoshoot for Lucy starting before 9am and running until her nap time. Its really cool that she gets to do it–its for a clothing line called Bella Bliss. She was picked to be in it and we’re thrilled! but its also pretty tiring, and they shoot right up until her nap time. Good God this cat wont stop howling at the door. Anyway. She’s napping now and we’ve got a lot to do this afternoon, of course tomorrow is MONDAY. ick! We’re getting her costume altered by a friend tomorrow. Math exam tuesday. HESI test friday (god help me!) then the halloween carnival saturday. WHEW. I think I can get through all that. Then the following week i probably have to focus solely on A&P. Oh, and did I mention me and Paul are in counseling? I started last week, and i go again Wednesday, then we’re going together after that. On top of all this! We got in a big blow out recently and once again the divorce card was pulled, by both of us, and while I know we dont really MEAN it, sometimes we both think it sounds like a good way out and easier to do than to stop being angry. We never really made up from our big messy fight, but after several days he started sleeping in bed with me again but we arent touching or anything. We’re being cordial but I know I’m still mad. He is just waiting…i guess its all at a standstill. The only thing the doctor said was really conserning him about us was how paul would rather look at porn than have actual sex with his wife, and is missing out on that time to connect with me, and instead rejecting me for porn. He doesnt understand that and its troubling. Otherwise he said our issues sound fixable. I’m optimistic but still angry.

Off I go to being suzy homemaker and baking some toddler friendly muffins.

Xo Erin