12/06/2012

I have to say, i just love reading my bookmarks. Sometimes i come online with nothing to write about, but I always look forward to catching up on my faves. Your lives are incredibly facinating and every one of you makes me think. Even when you post about nothing, like i do. Its still a window into someone elses life besides my own, and puts things into perspective for me, or makes me feel like im having a convirsation with another adult (hard to come by at times!). Thanks for being you, and thanks for sharing it with me.

Everyone is so different and i have yet to meet someone who is much like me. Except maybe my friend Emily. But even she is really nothing like me, but we’re still kindered souls. I spent tonight talking with Brandi over wine. She is NOTHING like me, but of course we are still great friends and thats why its always so interesting. We talked about our mutual friend Rachel and her T18 baby Scarlet. We really differ there. brandi has a big heart and is a good person. But her views on "life" are so different from mine. She’s had an abortion, which she said she would do over again if it happened again, and of course I would never have an abortion. She also mentioned tonight, though, that she still thinks about that "baby" often and wonders, "what if?" That to me says that some of her comments are more of a tough front than her actual beliefs. About Rachel’s situation- Brandi said that if the doctors told her during pregnancy that there was a "high risk" for one of these genetic problems such as T18 or downs syndrome, and she were offered the option of terminating or inducing early, she would take it. She said she wouldnt want her child to have a poor quality of life with little indepence and a lot of suffering. We talked back and forth about it– how high risk doesnt mean FOR SURE, and what if you terminated a baby that was normal? Regardless- for me, I would never terminate any pregnancy even if they told me for sure my baby was "sick". Rachel knew she had a chance- didn’t know for sure, but still chose to make the best life possible for her daughter and carry to term. I would never even consider any other option. But I know a lot of other people would, and do. But Brandi has never had a child. I can’t say that I would have made the same choices before baby as I would now, after baby. Probably, but I wouldnt be as convicted about it as I am now. I would value any day I got to spend with a child I created with my husband, regardless of its chormosmal abnormalties. Its so tough though. you have to be realistic, and understand that your baby is PROBABLY not going to outlive you. But I would also have hope for that child, no matter what.

Got to go.