I feel like I’m the problem.

Sometimes I feel like I’m the problem, y’know? I always say things I regret later on thinking it was just joking fun and games.. till someone that I did actually truly love (as a friend) left because of me.. it just feels like it’s all my fault and a really am trying not to cry because I’m afraid of looking pathetic. Im posting this on here cause I don’t want them to see it, but I don’t know how to fix things.. it just hurts so goddamned much and I don’t know what to do…

Im scared… I wish I could fix things… what if I hurt our friendship permanently? Because even though they were an online friend.. they were one of the best friends I’ve had. And I think I’m the problem.

I posted this here because I’m too afraid to tell them and vent my feelings to people I actually know. I’m scared of getting made fun of.