Steph

Steph is a loyal caring friend

Steph wants to save the world

Steph wants to save herself

Steph has worked hard for years to create an image of herself as “nice” and “hardworking.” She has worked so hard at creating this image that the lines between image and reality have blurred

Steph loves music and always has a song in her head and in her heart.

Steph loves to sing, to perform.

Steph looks confident and capable on the outside and generally happy

Steph knows deep down that she is confident and capable but it doesn’t always show as strongly to herself as it does to others

Steph is carefully constructed, aware of the world around her, able to manipulate people eefectively to get what she wants, all while looking sweet at the same time

Steph is also absentminded and scatterbrained, with a child-like naivette that the storms of life can bruise but never conquer.

Steph’s emotions are strong, threatening to overwhelm her. Her emotions are transparent as a window on her face, even when she wants to hide them.

Steph’s happiness is the height of joy, estatic, full. She is purely in the moment and wears a true smile that crinkles up her small brown eyes and brings a flush to her rosy cheeks.

Steph’s sadness is the depths of despair. She fears crying, scared of never being able to stop. The sorrow tremors through her body, as pain pours out of the gaping hole in her heart.

Steph’s anger terrifies her, red hot and bubbling. It pulsates through her, taking on a life of its own, causing her to kick holes in the linen closet door and leave imprints of her fist in the wall. She is sure she can kill with her bare hands with this angry and prays she is never pushed to that breaking point.

Steph remembers coming oh-so-close. Years upon years of torment, day in and day out. The outcast, the stupid, gawky, nose-picking uncoordinated kid. The one not worth of human dignity. Flashlight shined in her face in the wooded cabin: “retard!” She remembers wondering how much more she can take until one day. She. Just. Snaps.

Steph is grateful she made it through without snapping

Steph knows the value of friendship having been so long without it

Steph takes time to talk to the underdog and make him feel special

Steph fears being alone forever

Steph fears abandonement

Steph fears betrayl

Steph fears most of all that the people back then were right, that she really is worthless. That she doesn’t deserve anything.

Steph fears trusting yet longs to be truly connected with others and so keeps on trying

Steph keeps on trying no matter what!

Steph is a survivor, a hard worker who will always get back up no matter how many times you kick her in the face and knock her down

Steph is tough.

Steph is also soft, and caring. Somehow, her heart has not frozen.

Steph is a romantic, but fears romance passing her by

Steph is a worrier. She bleives in the protective power of worry.

Steph is everyone’s best friend but her own worst enemy. She treats others well yet often treats herself like shit

Steph is beautiful but has a hard time seeing it

Steph is bashful talking about sex and sexuality

Steph is not at all bashful participating in it 😉

Steph is a tomboy

Steph loves sports, especially baseball

Steph loves action

Steph is hyper and bouncing off the walls full of energy

Steph wants to write a ballad, to touch people through music the way her favorite song writers have touched her

Steph does not read a note of music

Steph wants to learn to play the guitar

Steph is a perfectionist

Steph wants to get it right the first time, because she’s afraid she might not have the intestinal fortitude to try again

Steph has almost always been successful in getting it right the first time

Steph is afraid of her own greatness

Steph is great anyway despite her fear.