Really not good :(

I just looked up my grades online. One A and two B’s. This averages to a 3.33 My cumulative GPA is slightly better thanks to my perfect fall semester grades, giving me 3.66 overall. That barely even qualifies me for scholarships and is certainly not the stellar acheivement I was hoping for to convince the PhD schools that despite the fact I can’t do HS algebra and geometry under pressure I CAN handle graduate level work. My GPA nosedived from a 4.0 to a 3.33 in one semester. And the admissions committee will see that! I still owe the school $950 for the summer rent and just looking at next year’s tuition makes me want to puke. And even though my grades (barely) qualify me to keep my financial aid I think I lost that too cause I still haven’t sent in the fucking FAFSA. It’s not for lack of trying. The renewal form was painlessly processed online on the 23rd of APRIL. They emailed me a link to print the SAR form and send it in. EVERY FUCKING TIME i’ve tried to go there there’s an error on the page. At which point I forget about it for a while and forget to call the phone number they mentioned. I’m defintley calling tomororw. But at this point I don’t think I have much chance of getting university scholarship money. The priority deadline was march 1. Now all I can hope for is to get the FAFSA shit taken care of before i miss the deadline completely so I have the “privelage” of racking up another 18.5K in debt. Then I get to figure out how to pay the rest of the ten thousand or so left over out of pocket next year. *bites lip* I CAN”T afford to take out a personal loan on top of all my student loans :*(

So all around — grades, tuition, everything — the situation completely blows. I can’t believe I got an B in that fucking psychopathology class. I thought I’d get an A- or at least a B+. That’s my one hope. I haven’t talked to the (asshole!) professor yet and reviewed my grades in person. So there may be a chance that my GPA will be slightly higher when it’s all said and done. (I’ve had to do that without fail each semester since I first started college, and in the end I’ve always come out with a better grade) But still it’s really depressing. I don’t so much care about doing well at new school, but I DO care about being able to get into a PhD program for the fall ’03 semester. So it’s off to the battlefield for me. First financial aid tomorrow, then, when I’m up in New York, working on changing my grade.

I’m gonna go clean my room now. I think this is one of those few times when it will actually helpful for me.

Steph

Oh yeah, and work sucked tonight too. Stranded up on 500 with no one in my section and we lost pitifully and it was COLD up there and I was wearing shorts and it took forever for the game to end. Oh well, I guess it’s better to get all the bad shit out in one day rather than multiple days…