Me as I truly am

My evening plans fell through so I wound up going to the gym instead. It was really nice to just bond with the cross-trainer and my mix cd. But the coolest part was that tonight I had the rare experience of seeing me as i really am. When I looked in the many mirrors at the gym I saw the truth. I saw a person who is somewht overweight rather than the morbidly obese blob I usually see staring back at me in mirrors and photos. I am in no way perfect, but I’m also not as bad as I’d been telling myself. And most importantly I’m doing something about it. That was a big step, to see myself clearly rather than being clouded by self-loathing.

For all those ppl struggling with weight issues out there, I truly hope you are all able to expeirence even breif moments of clarity like the one I had tonight. I know it’s not easy and I’m sure there will be days in the future when I’ll again see myself in the mirror and hate my body (and myself as a result) But the fact that I was able to see myself as I really am tonight (porbably for the first tiem since childhood) gives me hope that i will again and maybe in time the moments of clarity will outlast the moments of self hatred.

Steph