May the Force Be With ME (One More to Go)

I should be waiting in line for Star Wars right now. Bonding with total strangers untied under a common love of George Lucas’s epic vision. I should be dogging from plastic light saber attacks and debating the merrits of Jar Jar Binks (yes, I liked him dammit! I found his antics more amusing than irritating)…instead, here I sit in the same in this giant building filled with computers that has become my unofficial home as of late.

I swore I’d never do it again. Never again would I miss doing something fun and exciting and really important to me to study for a meaningless test which in the grand scheme of things matters little to my life. In this spirit i acquired two tickets to the 12:01am showing of Episode 2 at AMC’s Empire 25 in Time’s Square. An exquistie complex complete with stadium seating and Dolby surround sound. I even managed to get tickets for the DIGITAL screen instead of the regular one. But alas, as the time got closer I realized 2 things have changed considerably since the 9th grade when it would have made sense to blow off the test and do the fun thing (phillies rally at city hall, how often does THAT happen!) Unlike in 9th grade, this test is 50% of my final grade, and also unlike in 9th grade, I’ve (poorly) invested $3,000 into this course!

I finally decided that while i could be stubborn and go just ot prove a point to myself I’d probably enjoy the show much more if I didn’t have the exam hanging over my head the next day. So I bought tickets for the 11pm show tomorrow night (stil digital etc.) and then scoured the NYC discussion boards of TheForce.Net to find ppl who needed tickets. Not surprisingly I got a taker. I was reimbursed $20 for the tix plus cab fare to and from his office. But it was the actual handing over of the tickets that brought about this rant. I’m really not going tonight, I’m really stuck at home studying. Wah!

It didn’t help that once I met him I totally wanted to see the movie *with him*. I was expecting a 30-something guy in a suit and turns out he’s closer to my age and really cute! :)(Vash and Malcolm, NO JOKES about meeting dating prospects through starwars!)He did buy both my tickets though. For all I know he and his girlfriend are going to see it tonight courtesy of my psych exam. But I have aqucired his phone number through the business deal and defintely plan on discussing the movie with him once I get to see it 😉 Too bad I leave for philly on saturday…

So anyway, um, yeah finals week reflections. It was never this damn hard before! I do’nt think the work has gotten much harder, I think I’ve just gotten more and more worn down. I also usually only had one major paper to deal with, not 2. My personality paper was hell. I finished it at 6:25 this morning! I got to the lab at 7 last night and didn’t leave til 6 this morning. I saw the fucking sun rise over the new school computer lab! Never again! I will NEVER let myself get this stressed again!!!! The paper sounds like a 9 year old smoked pot and then decided to write a 10 page paper. I actually liked my topic and could have done better with it under different circumstances. It’s like the class itself. I really enjoyed the material and wish I could have devoted more time to it and less to six degrees of schizophrenia. And i think I will read up more on Jung over the summer. I think I’ve finally found the theorist that I just totally mesh with.

I got home this mornign at 6:45 and evne though i was beyond exhausted I couldn’t go to sleep. Just coudlnt’ shut my mind off. God bless adivan! It’s probably not the best thing to use and anti-anxiety pill as a sleeping aid, but hey, you do what you gotta do. It was only 6.5 hrs sleep but they were the best I had in a long time. Then I got up and went to substance abuse. This made me laugh (a lot of stuff has today though, I’m a bit punchy from everything) cause I’ve been using ritalin so much this week (I have ADHD and only take the perscribed dosage, but still…uppers) and then couldn’t get to sleep w/o the adivan (downers) and now here I was going to substance abuse.

Turned in my paper and listened to Yana and Shannon’s presentations, went to Personality and turned in my paper and relaxed and enjoyed the last lecture. He’s a buddhist psychologist and gives each lecture by sitting in half lotus on a table with his shoes off. It’s a very relaxing class. Then i went to give cute star wars fan his tix. Then I made the mistake of going home. I thought I’d relax a little, maybe clean up my room a bit for move out and then get back to studying for psychopathology. I’m impressed I even made it back out the house and to the computer lab. Hence the long diary entry. Needed to get moving. And now i have one more question to type up from the last exam and then a review of the biology of schizophrenia. Basil Ganglia, Limbic System and Prefrontal Cortex. Yeah. 24 hrs from now Ben and I will be in the theater, the stress of finals will be over and the curtain will have almost risen on the the 11pm showing of ATOC.

Do or do not. There is no try. I say DO!!!!!!

May the force be with me,

Steph