9:54
can i just know whether i’m accepted to graduate school yet? please? it’s been "Pending Committee Review" for some 5-6 weeks now. it’s already november, i mean honestly.
our apartment has gnats coming up from somewhere and it is driving me crazy. i think i just need to go around dumping bleach down all the drains. egh
my life is boring. i’m doing ok. working a decent amount. missing japan from time to time. keep doing weird stuff, old habits, that i didn’t realize i had. my manager at one job asked me a question and i responded "seven" and since it was hard to hear, along with the hand gesture japan uses… where instead of holding up the 5 and 2 hands separately, you overlap the 2 on the palm of the 5… gah the confused look on her face!
i’ve been doing a TERRIBLE job at making friends. oh well. i’m not unhappy so it’s hard to force myself to get out there. i’m starting to warm up to my coworkers a bit, that’s good i guess.
i am playing pokemon X but going about it really slowly, such that i’m only on the 4th badge, and my friends have all loooong since outstripped me… sure it’s "good" but i just can’t stop feeling nostalgic for what it used to be, and what it meant to me as a kid… and it’s hard for me to get excited about playing it. it feels like a chore. i hate not knowing any of the new pokemon, and i especially hate not knowing what types they are (i feel like it’s so rarely obvious these days) — consequently, so many moves i use are not very effective. frustrating.
my roommate is still great but i wish i knew how to connect with her better. i feel like we still barely know each other, but we are only rarely ever home at the same times, and when we are we’re both tired so we hole up in our rooms. it worries me a little — i wish we had more opportunities for communication.
please? You know what I think, but I’ll say it anyway. You’re allowed to just ask them. It’s not “a committee”. It’s a committee of people. Every one of the people should be able to give you a straight answer about what’s going on. Universities don’t decide things. Departments don’t decide things. People decide things. And you deserve to be treated like a person, not a pieceof paper or a folder full of application information. Also, if it is truly up in the air, you can have some influence. And if it’s already decided, somebody must know. I had an application once that was held up and not processed right and after I was accepted it was a mess and I ended up missing financial aid I was entitled to and ultimately I got the wrong degree because the paper work wasn’t processed right and I didn’t intervene (didn’t know intervention was needed; didn’t know I could intervene or WHERE to intervene) and it turned the person who was supposed to be doing the paperwork had cancer and nobody knew when she was coming back to work ..
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and now I work for the place and I have been told they hired an interim who didn’t know how long he was staying and never learned her job completely and was working week to week and had no idea how long he’d be doing it and it went on and on and like this note and nobody knew when it would end and that is the kind of **** I’m talking about and it happens to people who won’t know you from Eve but if they DID know you would probably bend over backwards to be helpful and treat you like a human being with feelings and legitimate needs and rights instead of another piece of paper in their overflowing inbox.
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I know that feeling with roommates. Also, I hate the waiting game with grad school! I hate being at a crossroads, staying up late at night wondering what you’re doing with your life… I wish they didn’t take so long to decide.
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