tummy hurts

Well, we’re back home and trying to get things going. The financial end of the SC application is nearly done. Should be good to be submitted on Monday. We were going to try for tomorrow morning but I ended up with a really sore tummy and fell asleep after dinner. Now, of course, I’m sure I’ll be up all night. *sigh* Anyway, we had to track down some stuff in Ottawa and from a few different resources here but now I think we have everything we need. It’s gonna be tough though; from the looks of it we’re really going to need the full $28,000 that SC offers (spread out over the 2 years) if we’re going to be able to afford to live in Ottawa. We actually calculate that we will need around $33K but there’s $5K there that BF could potentially get a job for during the second year… I have to say, it’s SO stressful not knowing where we’re going to live in less than 2 months!!! But more so, not knowing if we’re going to be able to afford to live there after the first 30 days!!! I pray they go through this application really quickly… and come back to us with some numbers very soon after it has been submitted. I mean, we are going to live at my mom’s house or my aunt’s cottage for the first 30 days. If between now and when we move the cottage gets rented for September then we will live with my mom. That’s not too bad… but if we don’t get $600-$700 from SC to put towards rent, I don’t think we’ll be able to afford to live in Ottawa. AAAAH!!! THEN WTF ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO???? AHHHHH!!!

Anyway, I’m trying not to think on that so much. I think the trying not to think about it is giving me an ulcer but I dunno…

We booked the truck yesterday. $679 for the truck and the tow dolly to pull our car – that includes a 3 day rental period and 639kms free. Add taxes of course and, potentially, another $50 for the insurance (which I think we will get) AND gas for that sucker AND food and beverages for our moving volunteers… We’re going to be forking out around a thousand bucks for this move. Yike. Good thing my ODSP will (hopefully) give us $799 worth of that from a bursary. That will save us. The U-Haul guy added free 50kms to our order (nice!) and will give us a coupon for a month of FREE storage in one of their units. This is key because we will NEED that storage unit for, at least, the first 30 days. We have to book that separately though, apparently – and HOPEFULLY the stupid place will be open on Sunday so we can unload that day as planned. We want to load here on Friday, drive on Saturday, unload on Sunday. Which reminds me – we may have to get the damn truck all the way from HAMILTON (45mins away) if there isn’t one available here – we’ll be informed of this the day before. WTF?!?!?!!? AHHHHHH SO MUCH FRIGGING AROUND!!! I used to thrive on details – now they give me a stomach ache. I’m not doing well with my eating. And that’s enough about that topic.

I think I’m having a harder time with this whole Michael Jackson thing than I thought. I’ve been having really messed up dreams and I can’t get his songs out of my head. That in itself is uber creepy. His televised memorial touched me more than I thought it would for sure. Some of the speakers were excellent – Rev. Al Sharpton… Brooke Sheilds slayed me… Maya Angelou’s poem via Queen Latifah was beautiful… Smokey Robinson… The performances left much to be desired but I will give them all the benefit of the doubt that they were "moved" by the event. I know, first hand, how difficult it is to sing at a funeral – let alone a funeral for a family member. So Jermaine’s rendition of "Smile" quite impressed me. That song has always epitomized MJ for me… I’m glad they included it. And the little girl… Paris… she broke my heart. Until she spoke, I had been thinking that the kids really looked detached… I can’t even imagine having to, let alone wanting to, speak at my father’s memorial when I was that young. She’s a brave little girl. I guess maybe that’s the part that haunts me a bit. The whole thing though is eerily sticking with me. I wasn’t even that huge of an MJ fan before… I kind of detached myself when he started getting weird. But I guess maybe he’s this generation’s Elvis and that’s why this all seems to be affecting me as much as it is. I wish the media coverage would stop. I am just as interested as the next person (unfortunately) but I don’t watch it all the time. I don’t even like watching it once a day… I just wish the media was more respectful… ugh, makes my tummy hurt.

Today I’m grateful…

* That I found whole grain pasta at the grocery store on sale for a $1 WITH a "$1 OFF" coupon attached!! I got EIGHT boxes of whole grain pasta for FREE!!!! Can’t beat that deal!!! I’m STILL excited about that!

* That my fur baby likes to cuddle with me when I feel down

* That I have the next book in my series to move on to when I’m done with this one! hee hee