online dude

Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 25? Is 25 mid-age? Is there a life-crisis before mid-age that I’m unaware of… :-S
I have the largest crush on a guy who’s only 21. That’s FOUR years younger than me. That’s younger than my brother!!! Granted it’s online and in-game so I don’t even know his real name or any details really… I just know the sound of his voice (because we use headphones/mics in groups in the game) and his wit from in chats and on forums… He’s a good flirt… he has a nice voice… UGH

It kinda feels like I’m cheating on BF. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with BF’s and my relationship. And this dude is online and I literally know nothing about him. All flirting and chat has been innocent up to the present. Nothing that crosses the line I don’t think… But I have carefully neglected to mention I have a BF….. and but would I do it in front of BF? I dunno. I *thought* my definition of cheating was doing something that I would not do if BF were standing over my shoulder… *sigh* Maybe I just don’t want my definition to be that… but maybe it’s okay so long as it remains pretty much anonymous – then it’s more like an interactive book or tv (or porn if it came to it). If I were to do it in BF’s presence, that would just be insulting to him… a public insult…

I *played* last night thinking about this online dude. Oddly I was my character in game and he was a real person. Make sense of that. The books all say it’s healthy to fantasize about somebody other than your partner every once in a while while having sex right? don’t they?

I dunno. All I know is I think about him when I’m not playing and miss him when I’m playing and he’s not (the game).
I’m a twit.

On another note.
I miss Shawn. From school days. I woke up this morning really missing him for some reason. I guess now he’s got a house and is living with a girl. I’m jealous of her. I don’t know why. lol I want to email and tell him I miss him … we haven’t exchanged a word in a few years… not for any particular reason. Oh well. *sigh*