a wee funk

I am getting my period and had a STRONG craving for chocolate today. I don’t usually eat sweets except for that one time of the month, sometimes not even then. I usually always get a couple "hungry days" though where I just have to eat and eat and am always hungry. So today I had a couple of those really awful-for-you chocolate log roll thingies. BF also came home with a slurpee for me from 7-11 – the new strawberry-limeade one – which was delicious but also made almost entirely of sugar. I never eat any of this stuff anymore but, like a bonehead, I somehow managed to convince myself I don’t have diabetes and just gobbled it all up.

First it was: *BING*!!!!!! O.O (crazy sugar high)

and then it was *zzzZZzzz*!!!!!  X . X  (sleep for 10 days), feeling like my arms and legs were so heavy and tingly…

NOT GOOD. Not good at ALL.

I am definitely needing to pay more attention to my weightloss goals. I do NOT want to be this weight next year. I want to be in a nice, slender wedding dress this time next year.

If things had gone the way we had planned originally, I would be getting married tomorrow. *sigh*

I guess it’s a good thing we’re not though cuz I would be a big white lump in a dress.

Anyway. Obviously, I’m not too pleased with myself about this whole sugar overload tonight. What an idiot.

I just can’t seem to "do it" on my own…. I… blah, I don’t wanna talk about it. I wish they would invent a machine I can sit on that just shocks the muscles to stimulate them and make me lose weight. lol

I’m trying… I just … I just can’t seem to "keep it up" on a regular basis…

I’m not going to stop trying though. Every little bit of trying is a little I wouldn’t have had if I quit.
If that makes sense…

*sigh*

Today I am grateful…

* for no noise from the crazies today

* for The Bachelorette – mindless entertainment that I am loathe to watch but which brings me the most superficial joy LOL

* for my a/c working

… Tomorrow it will be 18 years since my dad died. I guess maybe I’m in a wee funk atm.