Life…
All 3 words
1. Amazing
2. Sunshine
3. Angel
Well, actually … Aerosmith songs (and Steven Tyler solo songs) … Struck in my head… And of all voices stuck in my head… And all the WTF Moments I’ve had with all music … Maybe… Maybe it’s the music that’s the addiction… Just like walking … I don’t stop… And ear training, writing, very strong urge to learn how to play piano… And it was always bass, drums, and guitar… Dream On with choir (middle and high school memoirs of my own when I was in choir) and Steven playing a white grand piano… After people killed in Boston… it’s stuck in my heart and all their songs… Literally… And songs of other bands… Amazing … “Light at the end of the tunnel maybe you…” Yeah… All their songs got me thru times that I don’t even mention… Angel … Sweet Emotion… Walk This Way (i have issues with this song… Not really… Laughing… That’s what started… Being told how to: Walk, talk, … And sing… And I can’t go in elevator without that beginning of song… And when library elevator says that and start laughing… I know I’m crazy… But I’m not changing my crazy ways haha. Guns N Roses, Pink, Beatles, Rolling Stones, Bon Jovi, Santana, Bob Marley, Metallica, AC/DC, Van Halen, Motley Crue, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown, Sixx:AM, Godsmack, etc
This list could keep forever…
And tv shows movies…
That list could go on forever too…
So, certain lyrics of Dream On…
If told to dream until a dream comes true… There’s way too much coincidences with their songs… It’s not a bad thing at all… And “Love is Your Name” suck in head … Gypsy Girl when walking around ended up in store with Gypsy word and … And train near by kept rolling… And its same song and dance and full circle… Sweet Emotion… It’s weird to me with over extent of lyrics of songs… And how I would have been dead years ago if not for music… And how ironic and “wtf moments” … Full Circle… Back in the Saddle… Writing, music, shows, movies, clouds, rocks, etc…
I pissed off Heaven…
Addictions… Music… (Weird part of instant rebellion after hearing that… Part of who i am haha) But it’s true… And then there’s moments of wtf is going on … I wish my dreams came true… And music, especially them have huge impact on my life … All my own writing – all during times of listening to their songs… Makes me feel like I’m going crazy… And Just Feel Better (Santana and Steven Tyler) … This is why I get so fucking pissed off when people have made fun of me, because I think about the people that have impacted my life … hated when Robin Williams died and how he made everyone else laugh, was real/authentic didn’t hide depression, addictions, etc … And it still impacts me even though didn’t personally know him and I started different voices while reading… Patch Adams, Dead Poets Society, What Dreams May Come, etc …
So many coincedences…
Alice in Wonderland…
Wizard of Oz…
And I feel like the poster child of problems in the world… And Imagine … goes thru my mind a lot… Named after Beatles song… But songs, tv shows, movies, etc…
Weird… Story of my life… Im thankful to be alive when all these people have … I’ve been thru hell my whole life and I don’t say that to make it seem like no one else has (What Dreams May Come movie – this last year in my life pretty much) and I wish I could have something to believe in … Poison song… I wish I knew the people that impacted my life and got me out of darkest moments of my life… Sometimes music doesn’t get me out of that hell and I’m worried it takes that one split decision (avoiding lyrics in my head while typing otherwise goes back to Amazing song…) I don’t want to die… I don’t want to deal with all the hate, cruelty, etc in the world… I have lived thru way too much lately… And I’m tired… Judged, hated, etc for loving… Caring about everyone…
I don’t regret any of that… I don’t regret knowing cars and motorycles lately either 🙂 but I dream of things that are for everyone else … My view of the world is different (all started when told my grandma silver was favorite color… Including because i wanted to be different and no one ever picked silver… I miss her and my Dad and Nermal – almost 15 year old cat that I said was a cheshire cat smile and made some love cats who hated them before… And others think of a white rabbit …Alice in Wonderland… Sunshine song haha… Queen Mary in my family…
So, whos life is in books ? I didn’t learn from fools…
Great people… Even though I don’t know them – I wish I did, seriously…
But I’m just someone that is too fucked up to have what I want to happen… And it would save my life because if people really don’t stop saying, doing, etc to feel worse in my life for choices I’ve made, or stop blaming me for things in their lives – that permanant vacation may happen soon… I am not threatening suicide … My heart physically hurts about what I’ve seen and heard in my life … I write love, hope, etc everywhere … 4 letter words… Heart is pure love for others and wish I wasn’t hated for dreaming of things that I’ve been made fun of my whole life… I already lost grandparents, parents, babies, pets, etc and feel alone – even if people are around… and if my life is ending – I’ve had a lot of “Thomas Guides” in my life… Hope… yeah, what if it fades too much… I am tired… Exausted… Soul tired… And if anyone ever reads this… I hope you never go thru things I have… Or things no one should go thru. I hope that dreams I have come true before it’s too late… Obsessed with certain bands, shows, movies, etc? Yeah, but those songs, especially, kept me alive… Wonder if knew light at end of tunnel was them… Hmm ….