July 12, 2018

Amazing Angel

ok I need a serious conversation with my should be my therapist – really – this isn’t funny – Aerosmith really has saved my life multiple times and songs keep ending up in my head – so i need them to know light at the end of the tunnel has been them multiple times and if I stay alive in this crazy fucked up world – maybe could at least know them – even though seems like already do… telling psychology people – “yeah i hear voices… a singer in my head that of all bands – i’m glad it’s them…” they don’t understand … did i have brain surgery and who am I really … because when i stopped getting high… Amazing Angel things happen…

Returning from OD names of:

Sweet Emotion

Dream On

Sunshine

(Many Aerosmith names I’ve used but those are ones I remember using the most…)

Sweet Child O’ Mine

My Michelle

(And Guns N’ Roses songs)

Just a beginning entry of words that make no sense… my life doesn’t at all anyway. I miss my ex – who I still can’t just let go like everyone wants. Its fucked me up really bad – no one understands that … neither do I … I really miss him and wonder if it was all just a plan to get rid of me… nothing makes sense… God only knows how this really is possibly going to be the death of me… i worry about him and don’t want to see that he’s still going down the spiraling cycle … i need him in my life … and i don’t know wtf is going on… i wanted to know he was ok… everyone hates me for that… war about love … and trying to get better doesn’t happen if he’s gone. I feel like a burden and don’t want to be.