Questions in my head

I was raised to believe I am not worthy of love, I’m not smart or worth the time.

Now as I raise my children and ensure I do the opposite I sit here wondering.

Has this caused me to just accept what I get?

I’m married but there’s no romance, I can’t tell you the last time he tried to be loving unless it’s posts on Facebook.

I settle for the attention I do get, my “best friend” I haven’t seen since the day I got married because she’s always “too busy”… for me anyway.

Am I so deeply broken I am still not seeing my own negative patterns?

Slightly defeated today