Moving On

Life has been a little bizarre, and a little enlightening lately.  Certain events have made it abundantly clear to me that I really do not intend to go back to school and pursue a master’s degree.  Additionally, however, I do have some big choices to make.

It’s difficult to love someone when you know that they can’t perform at the standards you have set for them.  Lowering your standards seems necessary for your happiness… particularly if it is this person who makes you happy, solely.  You wonder, too, then, if your standards were absurd to begin. 

I have come to realize that many of my friends are not truly my friends.  If given the option of me + him, or no me… they seem to be choosing the no me option.  I understand where they’re coming from, in a certain sense, but it is disturbing to me that they hate him more than they love me.  Sure, they claim to be parting out of love, out of a desire not to see me hurt… but if I am hurt, who will be there to catch me?  My mother, of course, is right… though it is difficult to admit.  Family are the only people who don’t leave you.

I have been nauseated for several days now.  I hate being in this condition.

Always,
Afton