Goodbye to Hellos.

Salut…

It’s been so incredibly long since I’ve written in a diary.  In fact, the last time I really blogged was when TOD was still around.  It’s so incredible.  I need to do it more often… and I so prefer typing to writing, though I do feel that that’s a lost art.

I flipped out on my roommate and her boyfriend last night.  Partially because he’s a dick and partially because my PMS is worse than it has ever been before (I usually never get angry), but probably mostly because I’m having my 23 year old midlife crisis.  Okay, so quarter life crisis, unless I die very early. 

What am I supposed to do with these two college degrees I’m receiving in May?  There are no jobs.  I don’t even know what I want to do.  I mean sure, I have the job I’m in now, and I could make it into a career, but I’m not positive that’s what I want anymore.  And everyone I work with tells me I need to get out of retail and do something "bigger."  They keep telling me I need to do something "big."  What if I don’t want to?  What if I’m sick of achieving?

Then, I can’t figure out why, at  23, I suddenly feel so damned old.  I feel like time is crushing me.  Like I need to get married (and have kids, but that part hasn’t really surfaced for me yet) asap.  Of course, for my 21 year old boyfriend, this is insane.  It’s most unfortunate because I can feel how scary it is to me, so it must be terrifying for him.  That’s certainly something I can understand.

Well, thank goodness for the purring kitty next to me.

Always,
Afton