Nodding off thoughts

I lay down to sleep off the last 30 minutes of my shift “I shouldn’t go to Numbers tonight. I don’t want to be around Miguel” 

“Don’t drop the elbow!” a balding man yells to his crew aboard the off shore oil rig. Where something important was being lowered onto a platform in a storm, wrapped in chains and wind.

I layed back down excitedly. Im imagining what my writer friends would say if they saw me laying face down and waiting for a new lapse in conscious thought into the dream world. I bet I look kind of funny with my face down on the talbe and my hands above my hed typing. “Your doing what?” they would say.

There is a pressure and slight pain in my chest. I think you could call it anticipation. It reminds me of a small animal curled up in a log during winter.

I felt sleep whip across my body like a spring loading and then slowly slowly releasing and pushing me through the table into darkness. Like a page turning.

I should start writing down my dreams and lucid dreaming again. Taking that more seriously.

When I remember that lucid dreaming is a thing I always feel a sharp enthusiasm and want to go back in time and put in all the work necessary to have them consistenly. It’s so absurd that I lose interest in it. It is absolutley baffling to look back on my life and realize that I just get bored and lose interest on being concious inside my own mind and able to interact with my living working imagination to create experiences I’ll never see in reality. Just the idea of it alone is impressive. To walk around inside your own mind.

I was thinking about hitting the emergency button on the massage table andt then told myself “I just wanted to see what Jennifer would do” and then Ela was standing outside a car with people all around, like a loading area for a dry cleaner, and she was hanging up suit jackets on clothes hangers and then putting them on a rack that was int he car. And then I shot back up to this room.

Layers…I imagined showing Conrad the movie Paddleton. And then imagined him saying that it’s too long in the tooth or up its own ass. (which is what he would say) an then I would respond “You just haven’t ever been that in touch with your emotions before. Never been that alone and in alignment with yourself” to which I know his soul would reply “YES I HAVE” and I know he has. The feelings I had for showing him the movie and then the feeling of him knowin he’s felt that way before and wishing he had some way of exploring that without becoming isolated or neglecting his friends or girlfriend was sandwhiched on top of that feeling. And he was squishing out on either side like a marshmellow.

This is very electronics sample. Green vision. Midlake was playing. Brett was there.