Sometimes the frustration wins

I tend to try and keep a lot to my self unless I feel its worth saying something. There are just some battles that aren’t worth fighting. I won’t lie, there are times where my mouth just gets the better of me and and things comes out without me thinking first.

I try really hard to understanding and try to see another’s point of view. I struggle a lot with that when it comes to my family. There are times where I feel like I’m suppose to understand where their coming from but its hard to do that because to me it just doesn’t make sense.

I’ve heard a lot in the past month how I’m my dads favorite because he’s talked about putting me on his accounts and how he wants me to be the one who takes care of things if something were to happen to him.  Comments have been made about how he spends more time with me and so on. My problem with this is I would not call this me being his favorite. I am the most responsible one out of my two sisters and I. My sister’s ask our dad for a good bit of money at times. Our father has covered a good bit for them and anytime they call him he generally gives it to them. I’m not saying he helps them over me but I don’t ask for anything from him like that. I might here or there ask for his help to buy something for my kids but that’s it.

Most of the time when my dad and I talk it’s me calling him to check on him and see how things are going. I am his reminder for paying his bills or making doctor appointments. I was cleaning his house for awhile for him until my mom moved in with him and even now I still go over and do the cleaning.

There are times when I just want to snap at my mother or sister because I feel like my older sister and mother are the ones who make the most comments about me being my dads favorite. My older sister I think gets the most help from him, he’s covered a lot of her bills and things. Now I wouldn’t say much about it if she wasn’t doing other things like getting personal things done and spending the money that could have gone for those bills on things that she could have gone without.

I’ve tried really hard to not say anything because I don’t feel like it’s my place to do so, but again my frustration is getting the better of me and I know when I do slip what comes out isn’t going to be very nice.

My mother does the same thing to me, sometimes she will talk to me like I have no idea what I’m talking about. She complains to me about something someone did to her and its something she does to me.

There are times I have to work really hard so what I’m thinking doesn’t show on my face or get blurted out. Recently I’ve just distanced my self because I just didn’t have the strength to be nice.

Does your frustration ever get the better of you?