Being a step mom

So some background before I get into the things I want to talk about tonight.  My husband and I met when I was only 17, we dated for awhile and things didn’t work out. Later on we got back together and even got engaged but again called everything off. Roughly four years later we decided to start hanging out again. He wasn’t not ever apart of my life and we stayed friends in a sense. We started dating again I was aware the a girl we was with prior was pregnant with his child.

Now I wasn’t sure if I wanted anything serious and neither did he. I had just gotten out of a relationship and he was dealing with becoming a dad and he wasn’t sure how things were going to go with the child’s mother.   Needless to say we will be married 10 years in May.

So anyways I have a 10 year old step son although we don’t refer to him being my step son or me being his step mom, instead we call it bounce son and mom. It started because it seemed when I started doing that he responded to me better. Now I’ve been apart of his life since he was born, but some times it hasn’t been easy. We went through somethings when I had my daughter and I think a major part of that was because he was so used to being an only child and getting everything he wanted to having to share in both house holds because his mom also had a girl as well.

Now I also have another little girl who will be 3 soon. Up until recently we haven’t really had any problems. Now my bounce boy isn’t a bad child, in fact he can be so loving and helpful. In the past few months he’s been a little mean to his youngest sister. To the point where he was hurting her for no reason. My husband and I thought that maybe something was going on that triggered him to be that way. He started mentioning that he spends a lot of time at his moms house watching his younger brother he isn’t much older than his little sister.

There have been plenty of times now where he starts talking about things at his moms that do not make any sense to me. I am by no means saying his mom is hurting him or that she is a bad mom because  I don’t think that she is. I just feel like she’s either not seeing what’s going on with him or she is so wrapped up in something else and she doesn’t realize there’s a problem.

I realize I haven’t put names and I’m sorry if it gets a little confusing on who I’m talking about but I don’t feel the need to put my children’s names on here.

Tonight when I was putting my kids to bed I was tucking the boy in he asked me if he had a good day today. Then he made a comment about not wanting to be bad and started to cry. I explained to him that he was not a bad kid that he just like all kids has hiccups and sometimes gets in trouble because that’s what kids do and no one is perfect. Well while we were talking he opened up some how he feels and he said he feels like its his fault his mom and her boyfriend fight. He said its because he acts like a baby and not a big boy, when I asked him what it was that he did that made him act like a baby he said it was because he plays with his Legos a lot.  I personally feel like that was unfair for anyone to say something like that to him. My husband and I still build with Legos. everything he told me tonight he doesn’t want his mom to know and it bothers me because I don’t understand why. I hate that I don’t know exactly what’s going and I have no idea how I am going to help him..