New stuff ariving

So with the new changes happening at my home i have bought some new furniture. Second hand but new for me. I found some online & they are being delivered today. I have anxiety, i think because it’s something new, delivered by someone I’ve’ never met coming into my home. I still have anxiety about people coming into my home unless i really trust them. That is something I’ve felt all my life & don’t know why. I’m a little better with it now that my home looks more like a proper home now instead of dumping ground of crap.

The delivery guy said he’d charge between $50 & $100 depending on how heavy the stuff etc. When i organized this early in the week i didn’t realize today is xmas eve, so I’ll give him the $100 anyway. He’s a handy man on his own time & works full time to. I like supporting people like that & small businesses.

Seen the doctor today & got my meds for xmas & new year so i won’t have to go without. I didn’t see my usual doctor as i needed to see the lady doctor for other personal reasons & she said she was impressed in how i’m looking compared to last time she seen me. She was happy with all the changes that have been happy for me. My psychologist said to me yesterday how proud she was of me for all the effort I’ve put in & pushing through the anxiety to allow people to help me.

Everyone i know says i sound so different in a positive way the last few weeks & that the mental changes with me is really noticeable. My closest friends who know the entire situation have been so supportive & encouraging for me even though i can’t see them in person.

I’m also cleaning because i want to instead of because i HAVE to. That is a huge difference with me. I’m pushing through my pain disorder flare up & doing things that i normally would leave it until the last minute to do & have the mindset of “couldn’t be bothered, i’ll do it later” only for it to pile up & become to big. That was my biggest issue, i was leaving things until “later” then it got to big becoming a problem then it was to hard for me to process so i tried to ignore it. But i am now practicing positive changes every day, i’m finally motivated to not let things slide backwards even just a little.

Yesterday i managed to mop my whole loungeroom floor. I sat in the roller chair & scooted myself around to do it but i did it. The difference i see in the clean floor is such a good feeling. I do need to get into the dining room floor but that job is going to be harder & i may need help.

I’m also not sleeping all day & have a better more normal sleep routine. I don’t know if that’s going to last long because of my chronic fatigue syndrome but i think being in a better headspace & environment is making a difference. I did have a nap on wednesday & i may need nap later today after my furniture comes because i’, really tired right now, maybe i’ll perk up a little i hope. But i have noticed a difference in my sleep quality thanx to new environment, new bed, better head space etc.