What It Seems

Can anyone honestly, truly say that they are satisfied with their life?

Uh, I think not.

Maybe it’s just because I’m a sad and pathetic teenager who talks back to her parents every time she feels an injustice has been made.  Can you seriosly blame me?  It’s how I am, and I guess because of it, I suffer a hell of a lot more that others.  Is it so wrong I try to make things better or fair or right?  Some people…those controlling hypocritical pyscho nazis…obviously think so (aka my parents).  I’m not saying this really could not be my fault, and, in fact, I very possibly could be the hypocritical psycho nazi, but i seriously doubt this possibilty.  The fact is really that the only aspect of my life at the moment that is in shambles is my parental unit.  Ha, typical, I know, but with me, it goes much deeper.  Don’t ask how…it just depresses me even more.  They have taught me to repress my feelings my whole life, and now I’m paying for it.  I never talk to my mom, let alone both my parents, about anything.  And when I say anything, I mean nothing at all. And the sad part is that it’s not like she even asks or seems to notice this relationship is strange and degrading.  I know you’re thinking, “Well, then if you think it’s so ‘degrading’, then go talk to her about”…it’s not exactly that easy.  The fact is that I don’t even feel comfortable confiding myself in her about anything, probably because I never have.  I actually feel more comfortable talking to complete strangers about stuff than I do to my own mother.  I think my pseudo-mother figure in my life is my sister.  We can tell each other anything, which makes me feel better about the everything.  She has actually told me she feels exactly the same way. 

Anyway, who can say for sure what a true family realtionship is, whether the knots be tight or loose.  I believe the true definition of a sacred family unit is the honesty and confidence one holds within it.