Just Another Night

Friday nights…are the best

Basically because you have two more days of freedom until you go back to that hell hole, aka school.  Sundays kinda suck though because of the fact you can’t do anything that night and you have the whole day to dread monday.  I usually do all of my homework that day too.

Anyways, my night was kinda interesting.  My friend had been trying to “set me up” with this guy she knew through her own boyfriend.  I was kinda wary about it…I’ve never had good experiences with that shit haha.  I talked to this kid online for a few weeks, and I realized what a cool guy he was.  He’s someone you can really talk to about anything pretty much.  So, anyway, finally after talking to him for weeks online, I met him tonight.  Of course, this involved smuggling Renee along with me even though my parents forbid me driving anyone ever, as I have said before.  He and her bf work at this firehouse, so we met them there. 

First impressions do really count with me, atleast I try to make a good impression.  He was cool and all…I dunno, just not my type.  Nothing against him, it’s just basically my preferences that overshadowed it.  One thing was that he didn’t talk that much, which doesn’t help.  I’m more into the outgoing, good sense of humor type of guy, and those of you who know me can understand.  Not that I had a problem with him not being talkative, it’s just that I’m kinda like that, even with people I’ve just met.  Unfortunately, the fact that he was like that kinda freaked me out, cause that is just how my ex bf acted in the beginning, or pretty close.  It was all good in the beginning, but unfortunately I started to see another side to him I didn’t really like…

Anyway, I kinda feel bad for ignoring him after the fact of him not talking to me was established.  I can’t help it…if you put some type of effort into it, then I will reciprocate.  But otherwise, it’s not gonna work.  Damn, I feel bad saying that too.  Haha, I guess we can never win in these situations.  I think after these past few months of relationships, I need a guy more than ever to prove that maybe there is someone out there for me.  Or not…

Besides all of that happening, only 2 days of school left, but techinically for me only one because of the ensemble tour monday…hell yeah!  I cannot wait until vacation…I don’t even care about Christmas and gettin stuff…I just like the mere fact that I don’t have to deal with school for 2 weeks.  This stress is gonna kill me someday.

I also find it funny that my parents actually though I set too high of standards for myslef.  Uh, what?  My parents, actually any parents in general, actually yold their own child they thought he/she has too high of standards for themself.  Woah….  Basically this all cam about when my dad was helping me review for my math test, and I just wanna kill him by the end cause he is the worst possible person in the world to work with.  I always get so upset when I can’t do something, basically anything, and then he just makes it worse.  Math is my worst subject basically because I don’t pay attention to the details…it’s not like I don’t get it.  Well, I was getting all worked up about doing poorly and being a complete failure at it…blah blah blah…and my mom claims I set my standards too high for myself.  I really found that quite amusing.  Atleast they understand and don’t bitch at me about my schoolwork.

i’m actually pretty happy at the moment…not my usual depressed self.  I dunno why, maybe cause of vacation coming soon or that I actually have freedom…who knows.  For some strange reason, I feel this odd wave of stress boiling in the pit of my stomach..I really have no idea what it would be about though.  It’s probably just some terminal disease…haha.

Hmm…12:27 AM Saturday morning…I’m thinking if I’m gettin up early tomorrow, I should go to sleep…