The story of my life~`

I copied these next few entries from my bloop.com diary. It was a lot easier than re writting them. 

         Ok. Back to the beginning. Well, sort of the beginning. This is going to be a hard couple of entries

        I know, but I need to get it all out. So just bare with me

Growing up, wasn’t pleasant at all. I can remember watching my dad beat my mom up and throw her into walls. My very first memory of this is when we lived in a trailer from the time I was 7-12. My brother and I shared a room, and one night dad was drunk and mom put us to bed. We went to sleep. I woke up and heard them fighting. About the time i went to get out of bed to see what was wrong, dad punched through our bedroom door and then mom came flying in and hit her head on my toy box. I screamed and screamed and he walked away.

Things got a little better when I was 13 and we moved into our first house that my parents owned. But it only lasted a little while til he was drinking again. By this time, he was abusing me. I admist I was mouthy, but only when I was protecting my mom and my little brother. I would get in the middle of my parents fights and take the brunt of it to save my mom.

Call the police is what everyone said to do. The one night I called them. I had 2 bloody towels from where he had busted my nose, I was hiding outside scared to death when they pulled up. They come in the house and brought me in. My mom had a busted up face and bruised ribs, my brother hiding in a closet. They take my dad in the other room and he throws a fit on them. Tells them if they aren’t there to arrest him then get out of his house. What do you think they did? They left the house.

I will give the police now credit that they don’t walk away like they did in those times. Times HAVE really changed.

The last hit for me was when I was 18 and 7 months pregnant with Cody. Russ and I were broke up and I had no where to go and dad knew this. Him and I got into an arguement because I brought up the idea of putting Cody up for adoption. I couldn’t imagine bringing a baby into that house to face what I faced growing up. My dad cornered me in the kitchen when I said just that to him and split my lip open. I left,walked down the street to my best friends house and declared I was never going back. My mom came down there to get me, black eye and all. (She wasn’t even home when he hit me) I went back, but knew I had to find away out once my baby was born.

I could go into so many details of the abuse, but there is no reason. They are all a memory, just like a vacation to somewhere special we never went. On the outside we looked sooo normal, but inside the closed doors was hell.

I protected my little brother, even though he was only 2 years younger than me and we couldn’t stand each other at all.

I needed to get this out before I could continue with what is going on right now.

Ali