Wednesday.

 Paid today, and already broke.

Car registration is due next week, storage payment comes out in the 1st of September. Sent M his portion of my pay. Bought some modest groceries, cigarettes. I know, I’m broke, but I have money for cigarettes. Terrible.

Got dogged by my friend for the third time for an evening walk. Have scouted around with alternative friends to set up something. I haven’t exercised in years and feel as though I need moral support for that first attempt.

M popped up online briefly as I was finishing work. I didn’t say anything to him and he didn’t say anything to me, but it’s the first time I’ve seen him sign into messenger in over a week, so I can only see that as a positive thing. I hope to speak with him tomorrow. I desperately hope he tells me he found work, but I don’t want to jump on that too heavily in case I am disappointed.

Work is work. Home is home. Both are frustrating.

What I really need right now is something to focus on that will get me through. Ideally it would be M getting work, so I can look forward to my visa being finalised, but it’s more likely that it will be this exercise goal for the next few weeks. Maybe I get be less wobbly. I am thin, but wobbly because I am not toned.