Tuesday

Today has been a fairly horrible day.

I have been very anxious.  I was planning on taking a car load of stuff to mother’s house tonight, but I got myself so worked up all day long that I couldn’t bear the thought and instead thought I would be spending the night perched on the toilet, shitting my brains out and crying. 

I told my boss that I am leaving in September.  This is both a wise and foolish move.  Wise, because I have appreciated his honesty over the years and have been feeling terribly guilty about making my Grand Plans behind his back.  This is not a move that is decided or prepared for overnight, and I would hate for him to feel like he was kept in the dark.  It is a foolish move because he will stop investing in me and start being a bitch about me leaving.  Even when I spoke to him today he said, "I’m just sorry I couldn’t make you happy."  I said it had nothing to do with him or with my job, and that it’s not like we’re getting divorced.  Anyway.  There’s much more to that conversation, but I am glad I just came out with it.  Now I can stop obsessing over it.

5pm came and I just didn’t want to go home.  Not at all.  We are so close to the finish line, and to being away from here, and I am feeling very stressed.  I stayed back and finished a few things at work, then headed over to the shopping centre to order some pizza (cheap Tuesday!).  Sat in the car a while when I got there, called my Heslop.  Called my brother, who is just the best.  He and his friend are coming to help us move on Saturday.  I am so grateful for his help.  I ordered the pizzas and it was a 25 minute wait.  So I called my sister.  At first I wanted to just burst into tears, but we just talked a bit and I told her I was really anxious.  I think she thinks something else is going on, because she doesn’t seem to understand how frazzled I am about my dickhead neighbours.  They really are what is pushing me over the edge, and it is also my own paranoia contributing to my stress.  But I explained that I have a lot on my plate right now and that once I move that will be one less worry.  I am trying to work on everything at once, and it just doesn’t work, so I have stopped to focus on this move.  Once that is done, I will get my paperwork ready for my visa appointment.  Once that is ready, I will get the paperwork ready for my medical.  In between that I have to get the dog to the vet for his medical and shots, and we have to book M’s plane tickets. 

Stress levels rising … 

Four nights left here, and three full days.  Saturday doesn’t really count because I will be up at sparrow’s fart to take a car load of stuff to mother’s house and to move my brother’s furniture into the extension.  

Ugh.  Trying to figure out hotels now that we have to go to Sydney twice, and it’s just so expensive.  The hotel we want doesn’t list free breakfast, either and that could be a deal breaker.  Last time we stayed there there was free breakfast and it was the bomb.  It was seriously the very best buffet breakfast I have ever experienced.  

At least my annual leave has been approved for both trips, although I am slightly devastated to be losing 30 hours of annual leave to cover those 4 days off work.  

I don’t know what to do.

I am also anxious that my landlord will call or text me tomorrow wanting to bring people through the apartment.  I had said that at the earliest she could do that late this week, although the place is an absolute disaster.  She said, "I’ll let you know" but I bet she tries to contact me mere hours before she wants to come through.  I will have to tell her that that’s not "reasonable notice" and that it can’t happen, and THAT troubles me because I want my fucking bond back so I don’t want to get on her bad side.  Of course, the bitch never lodged the bond properly, so it’s not even a matter of claiming it back through the tenancy tribunal.  

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSTRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS