Sunday

I was doing relatively okay yesterday, today I am not doing well.  Perhaps it has sunk in, now that I have spent 2 nights alone, that they’re not coming back. 

I am trying to keep busy.  My brother comes home from Europe tomorrow (I think), and I had a ton of stuff in the room he will be sleeping in.  I moved the bookcase into my bedroom and cleaned up.  

Spoke to M online for a little while.  It’s funny, I am so desperate to see him log in so we can talk, but then I have nothing to say.  I just want to know he’s there.  I am not sure how I will deal with things while I am at work through the week.  It will be practically impossible for us to have any real time chats through the weeks due to the time difference.  

I am so tempted to go out somewhere, to do something … but I know if I go out, I will spend money and I have already spend too much money this week.  Even if I just took a walk on the beach, I would end up getting a Slurpee or food on the way home, and I just don’t need it.  
I need to just sit down and write this essay.  I feel very distracted.  I have done most of the reading, and reviewed the message boards to ensure my idea is on the right track, but I haven’t actually written anything.  I would like to have it done by Thursday or Friday night.  I have two more to work on, and then I am clear through to exams.

Feher texted me today and asked if I would like to go with him and some other guys to visit Heff (who lives 6 hours away).  We’re also talking about a camping trip. 

Work tomorrow.  I am thankful for the distraction.  I just need to get through this.  It’s the last time we will be forced to spend time apart, and we will be on the second last step towards our goal.  Once we get enough money together in NM, we will head back to NY, but already being in the US means that we will be able to accumulate possessions or furniture, because trucking it across country is nothing, compared to shipping overseas.