Monday
Sat my exam this morning. It went quite well. I am confident that I will get a decent result.
Back into defeatist attitude about the dreaded jurisprudence exam. There’s no way I am going to cram and retain enough knowledge in this brain of mine to get me through it. I am again wanting to just bail on the exam and do a re-run the next time it runs at my university. But there’s the "what if" – what IF I can scrape through on the exam? Maybe if it was a regular closed-book. What are the repercussions of me not sitting the test? I fail the entire subject, which is very likely I will do even if I sit the exam. I will then have to find out when it next runs, because I can’t graduate without this subject. The delay will just be irritating for me, especially for such an awful subject, but it’s not the end of the world. I can’t practice law in New Mexico, anyway.
Sigh. I just don’t know what to do.
Had the usual, useless afternoon in the office. Someone asked me whether I am asked to come back to work after the exam or whether I offer to. I said that it’s neither, but it is in my best interests to go back to work. My boss acts pissy like the sky is falling if I am not there, and I come back to an absolute disaster on my desk, in my emails, on the phone. For my part, I am saving my leave up so that I get a decent payout when I leave in September. But honestly, I got about 10% of the work I should have got done. The two cats bum jealous bitches on the other side of the office ignored me for a good few hours after I got back to the office because a) they are jealous that I am studying and b) they seem to see it as me just working a half day, how lovely! Forget that I was squeezing every drop of information out of my brain in an exam – not exactly a picnic, bitches.
I have a bit of a headache, I’m tired because my asshole neighbours were making noise until 4am, and I have too much on my mind as far as this shitty exam and EVERY OTHER FUCKING THING IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
On the weekend of the 15th I will be helping my mother paint the extra room on her house. My brother has offered to move into there so that we can have his bedroom. I will help him do that the weekend after, I guess. Now I just need to talk to M about going over there sooner. He is set against it because it will be too many people in that house, my brother is annoying etc etc but FUCK. I have to get out of here.