07/26/2013

I’m having some problems today, a crappy appetite, diarrhea.  I know it’s buried anxiety.  I almost want to say stress, but I don’t feel stressed.  I’m not frazzled or anything, just sad and upset and watching the clock.  

I’m a little bit afraid to see what happens with my weight once my boys are gone.  I won’t gain, but I wonder if I will lose more.  I would like to, but I know it’s not really conducive to recovery from an eating disorder. 

I shouldn’t even give thought to it.

What I want is a hot shower, and to climb into my bed.