Been A While

It’s been a LONG while since I’ve been on this website. I’ve been busy with work,school ( online) and my boyfriend and men in general.

I was talking to this one guy  he’s older than me married… yes ??? It’s complicated with them. I think he said his wife is a lesbian. And yet he still finds the time to cheat on her. I don’t know why they just can’t get a damn divorce but it’s them. I also heard that he’s been having sex with one of the workers up here and I let him kiss me yes because I thought he liked me but he doesn’t. He just use woman for fun.

I should’ve known honestly. Now I don’t want nothing to do with him. I guess me and my boyfriend is okay. Yesterday  I asked him can he help me wash my clothes and all he keep saying is that he’s trying to save up for the trip and I mean I get that but it was just one load of bag stuff that I have. And I’m still waiting on my school check and it’s fucking  me up on my plan to by the necessary things that I need.

And I don’t get paid till Wednesday on top of that. I’m just ready to go on this damn trip. We leave at 6am on the dot. This will be my first time going to Orlando,FL. So excited. I’m going with my boyfriend,his aunties and cousins ect… His mother not going thank goodness.

I asked him could he buy me 1 book in Wal Mart and he said no so yes i felt some type of way and then my mother saying I was being selfish. How was I being selfish for asking about him buying me 1 book because he’s trying to ” save for the trip”. Even if, I didn’t have any money it’s not like he’s gonna cover for me and I’m his girlfriend. Am I even his girlfriend anymore ? He barely wants to buy me things. He’ll only wants to buy me food,ect… which I get that but still and he always say he don’t go online because Amazom didn’t give them their stuff 1 time. And amazon gave me my stuff plenty of times. But just because he ordered something one time and it got lost he didn’t shop on their anymore..

I honestly never had that problem when I’m shopping on their so I don’t know what his problem is. This is all so frustrating and his mother is still controlling his money as usual and I just don’t think I want him to live with me until he get himself situated which it seems like it’ll be never. He doesn’t even have his license or a car which I don’t either but that isn’t the point. The point is is that he needs to put his foot down and be a man about it and stand up for himself but.. Will he ever have the chance to do so ? Nope.

-A