Shit & Sunshine

I always start by saying I don’t have much to say, and then ramble on for three or four screens, so…I’mma be honest with myself and you and say I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna say, but the fingers felt like typing.

Let’s see.

My cat died. Mauled by a dog, apparently. Thank all the heavens, C found him while I was out of town as I might have plain out lost my mind. With the wee bit of distance NOT discovering him provides, I just leak occasionally.

I’m ever so glad I decided to play with my camera a few months ago and get some semi-good pictures of him. *tear* I’mma miss my furry little fatboy.

There. That’s the misery out of the way.

Can you BELIEVE it’s almost SEPTEMBER? *goggles* Holy shit, seriously, what happened to the year? I can feel fall peeking around the corner – the morning sunlight is – different. And the birds are starting to flock. And praise all that is holy, the mosquitos are starting to be a little LESS – biting.

I’m still vaugely irked at the assholes of the world, but I’ve been – withdrawing – in general, lately. I suspect I’m sliding gently into one of my ‘fuck the world’ phases (slowly, says she) and I’m quite alright with it. Or, maybe just one of my Screw you guys, I’m going offline moments. Yes… that might be more accurate.

Still not pregnant. Roughly five months, the start of roughly my fifth cycle (3rd, really, as the last one and one at the start of spring were annovulatory). I’m still decidedly dragging my feet about seeing a doctor, because, well, I don’t want a doctor involved. *shrug* I’ve got an accupunturist appt. on Friday, and they have a TCM practioner there too. Yeah, I’ll drink a nasty ass mixture of herbs and berries before I’ll pop a pill. What can I say, I’ve become much more – fuck the system – lately.
Okay, not quite fuck the system, but I question EVERYTHING. I’m a doubtful, doubtful, downright suspicious Nellie…..and – I don’t know. I’m listening to myself, and there is no fear just DEEP aversion.

Still gainfully employed. *pullshairgently* Speaking of which, my hair is doing wonderful, amazing, fabulous things – I need to pull out my camera and take a picture before it gets all muddled up again. It’s growing like a weed, it is, and has gotten amazingly thicker, as well.

C is still working at the same place! Almost 9 months! It won’t truly be a record til he breaks 2 years though, and he’s already starting to get restless. *bangs head against wall* There are oftentimes – many times – that I wonder if me not being pregnant yet is a good thing.

But I was told to stop sending mixed bloody messages.

But I don’t know how to accept it, and to accept that there ain’t no good reason for it. I mean….. *sigh* I do try to force everything into something logical. *snort* You would think, 20 odd plus years of being on this planet, I would have grapsed the utter futility of that in certain situations. You WOULD think.

House is still wonderful, though the back half is starting to turn into a jungle. Garden finally gave up the ghost – I had a realllly crappy dirt mix. *sigh* But, each year is a lesson learned, and thank all the heavens that we aren’t RELYING on it yet.

Hrm. What else?

I’m taking (asslaggingdragging, more accurately) a Homeopathy 101 course. I suck, as I jsut got the books over the weekend. I’m also still going to First Realm class, which had a high point in usefulness a few weeks ago, and since then have just been – blech. *shrug* It’s okay though, as I’m not certain what I supposed to be learning, so whatever I’m learning is good enough. My shrine has been sadly, sadly, sadly neglected.
I’m a very bad little pagan. Or am I? What is the judgement of a good/bad pagan, as there are no books of dogma, and even if there were, they most likely wouldn’t apply to my path.
At least I was wise enough to stay away from opened statues.
Gaaahd, I can’t wait to quit.

Long weekend! I am ‘working from home’ on Friday, since my appt. is early in the day, then a friend is coming a visiting (must run that past the boy, and get him to help me with the futon), and then Monday is a holiday AND I took Tuesday off too, cuz I fucking rock like dat.

Only leaves me 3 days (I think) left for the rest of the year, but *shrug* whatever.

Haven’t done a blessed bloody thing in the house for a while – we need to come to a consensus on whether the kitchen is ‘done’ – if so, I have many bottles to wash and rearrange. And why do boys think that ‘cleaning’ a room leaves room for dirty shit still left piled up in the corner of the room? A clean kitchen means CLEAN – not one with all the bloody pots & pans and other icky stuff your dainty fingers are far too fragile to wash still left heaped on the counter. That. Isn’t. CLEAN. I’m far too tempted to throw many of them out. Faaaarrr too tempted.

I need to be sewing. And painting. And installing. And leveling. And weeding. And other useful type shit around the house, but instead I go home, pop right back online (I’m trying to catch up on a yahoogroup with 41K+ posts – from the START) and read and absorb and relax, somewhat. Or sleep. Oh, sleep is SO wonderful – esp. when it’s hot.

Hrm.

I think my brain has run out of random things to spew. I’m averaging about 3 times a month now, eh?

I try to visit almost daily, but I’m about as crappy of a noter as I am a poster.

I am the Batman! *whirls cape and vanishes dramatically*