12/27/07

Ah, it’s almost the end of the year. I usually do a year in recap, around here, but meh. I’m not quite feeling it.

This last year, really, was largely about internal journeys. I think that outwardly, I haven’t changed much – if any – but inwardly, my mind is at an entirely different place than it was at the start of the year.

Generally, I’m more peaceful. I’m less stressed. I’m more loving. I’m more honest. I’m more open. I’m more generous. I’m more selfish. I’ve knocked down some walls and strengthened some boundaries. It’s been – transformative. That’s the right word.

Going forward into the new year? Ah, I expect that the transformation will ramp up – and I’m really looking forward to seeing how 2nd Realm plays into that. But, that transformation is going on the simmer setting (which is essential, for any good stock) and I’m turning my focus to my health.

I’m going to go sugar and grain free for a while, to see how it makes me feel. I’m going to start exercising (finally – I actually set the timer last night!) because I know it’ll make me feel better. I had my last clove today (and I got a nicotine buzz from it too, which I haven’t gotten in a WHILE) because I KNOW I’ll be healthier.

It’s funny, how I’ve delayed myself. Maybe I needed that time – that year – to prove to myself that yes, things MUST change. I’ve always KNOWN that I would have to change my diet, my exercise habits, and my weight to get pregnant. I wasn’t really fooling anyone but myself, and as the months went by, and my belly stayed – well, we’ll have to say unoccupied, as it’s already nicely round – the – dread – almost, began to sink in on me. It’s not an option, anymore dear, and in all honesty, it never was.

Health. That’s the theme of next year. Emotional, Physical, Mental, Financial, Spiritual – I want to be a glowing ball of HEALTH. The real health, the health that makes your soul sing and your face smile, not the dry, dull, popping four pills for four ills health.

Note, do, that I’m not calling this a resolution, of anysort. And, it’s mostly accidental that it’s close to the new year. I’m on the brink, and I’m ready.

Emotional: Open up more to DH. Make more friends.
Physical: Eat as my body needs. Exercise.
Mental: Reduce TV/Computer time. Read more. (what a shocker that I HAVE to include that!)
Financial: Return to a 0 CC balance. Tithe 15% by June.
Spiritual: Daily Medition. Maintain my altar.

Sounds so simple, written out here, doesn’t it? Hah. I’m certain it won’t be as simple as it sounds.