menthol pall malls

what are these beautiful moments that i remember alone other than a dream that i never wanted to wake up from…

i can’t… i won’t run away from this feeling just because it didn’t fit you… it wasn’t wrong, this love that rose up inside me like a million flowers in bloom in the early mist of march. i never thought, a thousand times over, that this would be the outcome of a handful of nights spent wrapped in flesh and drown in pleasure… i wanted to give you everything… there was no need to measure.

i met her on a slow early november night when i felt like i was at the end of my rope… and i remember clearly calling out to the gods that sleep for someone to spend time with… someone to know. i was the bouncer, and she was there to get drunk… i checked her I.D. and she thought that it was me, staring at her by the taps, drinking on her long island, but i was only looking at everything… everyone, i was trying to forget some pain that i have forgotten completely since that first night that i took her home, to my bed. since then so much has been said, so much has happened… arrests and wrecks, goodbye, and then you reconsidered… then she said i couldn’t be her love… that killed me. i can’t just be her friend.

i met a lonesome widow, who hung her heart with spite, and fell in love only to wonder, everynight… was it right?

*happy new year to who ever reads this… never forget that the life we live can be the life we want… we can change our feelings but we can never deny our hearts. i know that this love i felt wasn’t wrong… i know that there was something beautiful in me that for a few breif moments fit perfectly in to the life of another and that is a memory i refuse to let go!

much love always,

eric w. desselle