all I son

i see your photo on the pages, it’s only been a week since i’ve seen you, it feels like ages, never would i thought that when you brought me a beer that all the weeks, and months would lead me here. eight days without a drop, and i think it’s time for the quitting to stop. octoberfest, stella, and the stripe won’t ever wipe the memory away, it was early morning saturday, the pills in your pocket, the beers in the purse, loving you shouldn’t be a curse… lost in another love song, remembering every verse, it’s not hard to see that i thrist… i thrist for you, baby, not the bottle, my foot on the gas, full throttle, but i can’t go fast or far enough from the feeling that seems to have infected my every cell. i never wanted this hell… but to not love you, that wasn’t an option. i want to quit, my mind tells me too, but my heart says, hold on… my heart lies to me and tells me that she will see all the beauty built up in me. walking across a wooden floor, i don’t believe what they say, you’re not a whore, you’re so much more to me, not one word or any seems to be able to sum you up, i drank you up like the coolest refreshment, we went to do laundry in the basement, it was dark, and you were scared, i pretended i wasn’t, i pretended for you. i smile when you kiss another, i don’t want to be just another, but i don’t know anyway to tell you how i feel, so that you can see this love is real. i feel you in my heart, and see you when i close my eyes, in my dreams we’re unseperate but i wake to this issolation, a  love as heavy as depression, and i want to give you my confession, nothing seems right without you. i don’t want to tell another joke, if you’re not there laughing, i don’t want to sing another song if you’re not there to sing back up, i don’t want to spend another night in this bed, if i can’t roll over in the morning and see you there…

eric w, desselle