The waiting ends

So once again, having more or less given up on Robbie altogether, I did finally receive my copy of Lend Me a Tenor in the mail today.  I was expecting it last month, but, given who this is, I guess I should have known that when he said "towards the beginning of summer" he might well mean "nearly August."  Oh well.  I didn’t think he was going to send it at all anymore, so it was a thrill to find a padded envelope of the right size with his name and my name on it today.

Much more exciting than the script itself, it came with a full page-long letter, handwritten.  Which turned out to be about nothing.  Actually, that’s the exact opposite of what it was about.  I wanted a letter about nothing.  Instead I got a letter about the show.  All about the show.  With an answer to the email I sent him a couple of weeks ago regarding some stuff he wanted me to see, telling me I didn’t need to worry about it yet.  One personal line, something like "Hope you’re having a great summer!", at the very end.  No mention of the train letter I gave him at the end of the year.  It was a thorough disappointment.

So either he never read the letter or he simply isn’t interested.  This is going to be too complicated, I can see that now.  If it weren’t for the show, I might go for it anyway, but he’s my director and if he’s keeping his distance I’ll respect that.  I begin to despair once again of ever finding a boyfriend…Sam’s gay and Robbie is being completely impersonal when I’ve given him every opportunity to be otherwise.

Well, there’s always Paul.  Funny to think that I did, in fact, like him first.  But I could never try that unless I was sure I liked him best.  It would be the height of cruelty to date someone when the person I really want is his twin brother.

Meh.  I’ve got another month before I have to worry about any of it.  I’ll worry anyway, of course, but it’s a full month before all the awkward moments start, so I’ll just revel in my safety and take comfort from distance.  Or some such thing.

–Stephanie